The Fruit Stall

Story once more..

2006-04-19T18:43:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,.. I've not been here for eons..

Still, decide to share a story with you all.

There was once a very well known opera singer. He was like the pavaroti or the three tenors of his generation. As such, he was a very well known person. The songs he sang were full or emotion, able to captivate one's heart. The most special and captivating moment is always at the end of his performance. As his songs drew to a close, the man would always recite psalm 23.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever."

At the end of this psalm, the audience would always go wild, cheering madly,
Asking for encores. Such was the popularity of this man. However despite the quotation of this psalm, the man was not a christian. The reason as to why he quoted psalm 23 at the end of all his perfomances was the fact that he loved the poetry behind the psalm.

One day, just before the man performed. An old man came up to him. Now, this old man was elderly, his hair was totally white and he walked with a limp due to the fact of his age. The old man came up to him and said " Mr so and so, you do not know me, but I'm am one of your greatest fan. In nearly all of your concerts, i would attend faithfully without fail. Not once have i not heard you recite psalm 23. Now I'm old, just this once, would you let me recite psalm 23 on your behalf?" The great man looked him over, thinking that it could very well be the old man's final concert, replied "sure!"

The conversation over, the old man returned to his seat and once again, the opera singer sung. It was fantastic, the crowd cheered wildly as he finished song after song. As the performance drew to a close, the man invited the old man to the stage telling the audience "Normally I quote psalm 23 myself, this time, just once I've invited one of my greatest fans to quote it on my behalf." Thus the man handed the microphone over to the old man.

The old man looked all around him, the audience kept silent in anticpation of hearing him recited. It would seem that to even utter a word would be inappropriate.
Then, the old man spoke into the mike. He was not a great speaker, his voice trembled as he spoke, never once had he recited it infront of so many people before. Still, he spoke. As the old man continued, it would seem that the atmosphere changed, no one laughed, no one cheered, but all held their breaths. He carried on, his strength seemingly being renewed as he spoke. As almost as quickly as he started, the old man finishd the psalm. By now, everyone's eyes was tearing, some wepted aloud openly. Others could be seen dabbing their tears on their handkerchiefs. People everywhere, none of them had a dry eye.

The old man hobbled off stage. The Opera singer, throughly shaken asked him "what is this you have done? All my life, I have quoted this psalm, never once was this effect ever seen.."

The old man replied "Ah! This my friend, is because you know the psalm. As for me, I know the author behind the psalm."

Truly, many of us may know the bible, some even say that they know God. However how many of us can truly say that they know the Lord intimately? Friends, lets not talk the talk, but walk the walk. Have you spent time with the Lord today?

2005-10-03T21:36:00.000+08:00

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Hi all. Its been sometime since anything is written here. I suppose its also an opportune time to say goodbye. Its been a great one year plus, and I really enjoy writing my blog. I;m sure not much people take note of it. In anycase. This will be the final entry. God is a God of new things ya. Maybe I might start a new blog somewhere... you never know.. well if not, its been great knowing you all.

Best regards for all your future undertakings. God bless you. Perhaps we might meet again someday in the internet.

Cheerios.

2005-09-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

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Once a long time ago. There were two girls. They were really great friends. Of course, things never did happened that way in the beginning. Like in all great friendship tales, they went through much together before realising how simliar they both were. Xueling and Ai Zhen were their names. Xueling was born to a small family. She was the only child. As such, she was used to being all alone during the day while her parents went off to work. Ai zhen on the other hand was the third child of her parents. Of course she wasn't the youngest, after her, she have 2 more younger siblings.

As 'fate' would have it, they turned out to be next door neighbours. Ai zhen moved into the neighbourhood just as xueling was about to go into primary 1. Thrown together rather abruptly, they got off to a rather bad start. Being the slightly taller and more out spoken of the two, ai zhen would often tease xueling on her petite statue and rather fair complexion.
It wasn't until Xueling burst into tears suddenly one day, did Ai zhen realised that she went too far. Through this 1 incident, Ai zhen resolved to be more sensitive towards her friend.. Xueling too reciprocated, and a beautiful start to a happy friendship was born.

When they were in sec 2, Ai Zhen went to church with a few classmates during easter. That year, she recieved the Lord into her life. Although Xueling was there, however she decided to take her time to decided. Throughout the remainder of that year. Although their classmates tried to encourage or tell Xueling about the gospel, Ai zhen would be there to 'help' her best friend, to stand on her side, saying that she has a right to take her time to decided. Sec 3 was a totally new year. It was spent rushing assignments and doing projects. They too had times of fun and laughter. Still, whenever the topic of christianity was brought up. Xueling would stand firm upon her belief.

The year came and went quickly

Jan 8th 1996. It was an ordinary day as usual. Ai Zhen was supposed to meet Xueling to go to school as they normally would. However that day, Ai zhen woke up late.. by the time, she was ready to leave her home, Xueling had already left for school. Ai Zhen hurried and went down to school as quickly as she could. Classes had not begun yet. Though later than usual, Ai Zhen arrived just 5 mins before assembly began. There was no sight of xueling anywhere.

"Did you guys see xueling?"

"no, we though you two would come together?"

"no i was late today, she came first.. didn't she reached school already?"

"nope.. perhaps she got held up somewhere.."

Assembly came and went, still xueling hasn't appeared.

"rrriiinnnngggg"

the bell rung as the students returned to their classes to await the arrival of their form teachers.

"Good morning class,.. i have some bad news for you all..."

The world faded into silence for Ai zhen,.. time suddenly stood still. It bore no meaning.

####################

At her funeral, she was unconsolable. She cried and she cried. As if to empatise with her pain, the heavens rained down heavily. To those who sat there, who could understand her pain? To know that her best friend was lost for all eternity. To know that no matter what, she cannot save her, to bring her back. To tell her about the things she can do. To know that she has already been seperated from her best friend for all eternity was knowledge enough to cause pain.

John 9:4 "We must work the works of him who sent me, while it is day; night comes, when no one can work."

Truely, the story above might been just a made up one, still, its reality beckons. How many of us still have friends out there who does not know the Lord? Perhaps its not too late to start working on them now. For we do not know what tomorrow brings. In anycase, for us, there is a future and a hope. However, for them.. there lies an eternity cut off from God. Friends, lets us work hard, to bring our loved ones to God. For when Night comes,.. even if we want to.. we will not be able to do so.

Let us work with all urgency before time runs out.

2005-09-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and
to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in
oneself. Has reputation.Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful.Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody andeasily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides
others physically andmentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving.Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judgespeople through observations. Hardworking. No
difficulties in studying. Lovesto be alone. Always broods about the past and the
old friends. Likes to bequiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never
looks for friends. Notaggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach
and dieting problems.Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to
recover

What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by

2005-08-31T21:30:00.000+08:00

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Somewhere out there,
Beneath the pale moonlight...
Someone's thinking of me,
And loving me tonight...

Somewhere out there,
Someone's saying a prayer..~
That we'll find one another..
In that big somewhere out there.

And even though I know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star,

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky...~

Somewhere out there,
If love can see us through..
Then we'll be together,
Somewhere out there,
Out where dreams,
Come true...~

2005-08-30T08:05:00.000+08:00

Cold morning. So much has happened over the past year. It would seem that the closer I am to God. The more uncertain the future is becoming. I suppose change is the only constant in life. I'm also getting more and more busy. Hence perhaps, i might just give up blogging once and for all. Maybe someday you might find this site worn out. Maybe it already has been deleted off some blogs. I don't blame you, who would like an inactive blog on his/her site? I would wonder who else still visit this site.. haha,.. maybe drop me a comment or something?..Then again its up to the individual.

Blogging is really a great time i use to reflect on the things in my life. Like what my best friends around me will say. "Gene, you think too much." I agree. Sometimes I really do think to much. Still there is one thing I have to admit. That is that no matter how uncertain life may seem to be, I always see the Hand of God intervening in every area of my life. That is the only certainty I see in my life.

I suppose as the days go by, I realise that I need my creator more and more each day. This has always been head knowledge to me, that i would need God more daily. Never would I have thought it becoming reality. Through all uncertainties, the only constant I have and trust is Him. Hence, going to Him daily to voice my concerns is becoming a rather common and frequent activity. Sometimes more than daily.

That said, i suppose in ending this blog I should also post up a story I found floating around on the net.

Thomas Carlyle lived from 1795 until 1881. He was a Scot essayist and historian. During his lifetime he became one of the world's greatest writers. But he was a human and humans make mistakes.
On October 17, 1826, Carlyle married his secretary Jane Welsh. She was an intelligent, attractive and somewhat temperamental daughter of a well-to-do doctor. They had their quarrels and misunderstandings, but still loved each other dearly.
After their marriage, Jane continued to serve as his secretary. But, after several years of marriage, Jane became ill. Being a hard worker, Carlyle became so absorbed in his writings that he let Jane continue working for several weeks after she became ill. She had cancer, and though it was one of the slow growing kind, she finally became confined to her bed. Although Carlyle loved her dearly, he very seldom found time to stay with her long. He was busy with his work.
When Jane died they carried her to the cemetery for the service. The day was a miserable day. It was raining hard and the mud was deep. Following the funeral Carlyle went back to his home. He was taking it pretty hard. He went up the stairs to Jane's room and sat down in the chair next to her bed. He sat there thinking about how little time he had spent with her and wishing so much he had a chance to do it differently. Noticing her diary on a table beside the bed, he picked it up and began to read it. Suddenly he seemed shocked. He saw it. There, on one page, she had written a single line. "Yesterday he spent an hour with me and it was like heaven; I love him so."

Something dawned on him that he had not noticed before. He had been too busy to notice that he meant so much to her. He thought of all the times he had gone about his work without thinking about and noticing her. Then Carlyle turned the page in the diary. There he noticed she had written some words that broke his heart. "I have listened all day to hear his steps in the hall, but now it is late and I guess he won't come today."
Carlyle read a little more in the book. Then he threw it down and ran out of the house. Some of his friends found him at the grave, his face buried in the mud. His eyes were red from weeping. Tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He kept repeating over and over again, "If I had only known, if I had only known." But it was too late for Carlyle. She was dead.
After Jane's death, Carlyle made little attempt to write again. The historians say he lived another 15 years, "weary, bored and a partial recluse."

I share the story with in the hope that you will not make the same mistake. While our loved ones must have the money we make to live, it is the love we have that they really want. Give it now before it is too late.

Mat 24:12
And because lawlessness will abound (in the last days), the love of many will grow cold.

Lets not be so busy with out lives till we forget those who are most important to us. Keep on Loving.

2005-08-13T10:12:00.000+08:00

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Psalm 42:5, Psalm 42:11, Psalm 43:5

2005-07-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

The below is a story that might have been cirulating around, still, I decided to rewrite it, my own version.

"Man, today is really a busy day." I thought to myself as the patient walk out of my office. I quickly stole a glance at my watch... 9.30am, wow, in just half an hour since my clinic was open, i had already seen 4 patients.

Despite being this early on a sunday morning, I wondered why there are so many people. More sick people might prove good business, still.. it might also show some unhealthly signs in the general public. "Maybe there is a flu epidemic going on around this area" I pondered.

My thoughts were quickly broken as I heard the nurse calling out the name of the next patient via the intercom. "Mr George Ong, please proceed to the doctor's office, he will now attend to you. Thank you."

I heard a brief knock upon my door almost instantly. "Come in" I said.
The door opened. A gentlemenly looking man whose crown was capped totally white stood at the door. He appeared to be in his early 60s, I judged..

"Hi George, come on in, here, take a seat.." i got up of my chair and walked towards him, offering him a hand. "no no, its alright docter, I can manage.." And he walked briskly in.. Before i could do anything else, he already has his hand on the patient's chair and proceeded to sit down.

I returned to my chair and picked up the patient's card. Hmm,.. George Ong,.. born in 1931.. hey, that means.. I looked up him as he smiled at me.. "yes docter? haha, caught you there didn't I.. I'm 74 this year" I quickly regained my composure, smiled and shook my head.." heh,.. yeah, you caught me there.. you certainly do look younger then you appear."

"Its the positive thinking and looking towards all things that are optimistic and all.. I don't worry more than what I need you know.."
He quipped. I sat down on my chair and look him over.. "Well, Mr George, what brings you here today? Its not the nastly flu is it..?" I enquired. " Heavens,.. no.. not flu,.. here look at this.." He stretched out his thumb and showed it to me. It look angry red, and i could see alittle pus gathered in the center of it... "Well, what happened? Its would seem that you have an infection of some sort." I held his hand and brought it closer to my face to have a more detailed inspection.

"well doctor, I had a small cut of some sorts a few days ago in my hurry to whip up a meal for my wife.. she really does loves my cooking you know... she especially loves the pasta that i whip up... she says its original and well,.. its tastes much better when i does it.."

"wow, your wife must really be such a fortunate woman to be able to eat such great pasta then.."I looked at him as he quickly replied.. "naa, she has always been the better cook. I love her cooking more than anything else in the world.." I looked over the cut,.. "Hmm, George,.. this thumb is really quite badly infected, i think that the extent is such that i might need to have a minor surgery on it to remove the excess pus.."

George paused a moment before repling. "say doctor,.. can you perhaps hold off the surgery awhile, maybe till later in the evening or something? Better still if i am able to skip the op altogther.."

I looked up from whatever I'm doing.."why?.. it might become worse if i leave it be you know?.." "yes doctor.. I know,.. but my pasta is simmering back at home, and i need to go back to prepare lunch for my wife.."

"oh.." I replied "but surely your wife can manage the rest without you right..?" "haha,..yeah maybe,.. but she's over at the old folks home see.. and i got to go home to prepare it before i bring it down.. you see, she suffers from alzheimer's disease.."

I was stunned for a moment,.. i quickly caught hold of myself and replied..'' oh sorry to hear that.. I didn't mean to probe into anything.."
"haha,.. its alight doctor,.. I know you didn't mean anything." he smiled at me.. " urm.. so how long has it been this way?" "perhaps 5 yrs? 6yrs ?.. more?.. i can't really remember,.. so i go down daily to visit her.. I cook for her, her favourite once every week.. with different meals the rest of the week.."

"oh.. well,.. at least she should be happy to see you right?" "haha, not really doctor.. you see,.. her mind has detoriated to such an extent that she don't even recognise me, our children or our relatives anymore.."
I was again shocked.." well.. so.. why do you still do this then?.." "haha... well,.. she may not remember me,.. or know me,.. But I still know her, and I still love her very very much.." at this his eyes seems to moisten alittle.. "She is still my wife."

I quickly did what i can for his thumb and bandaged it up.. "Come back again later this evening george,.. i'll clean up ur wound daily still it heals.." "My generous thanks doctor.. I'll need to go now.. see you later.."

After he left... i stopped seeing the patients of a while. My eyes teared when I think about his love for his wife..

the remainder of the day was spent pondering about him.. I supposes,.. there true love does exist after all...

...for better or worse, till death do us part...

1 Cor 13:13 "And now abide faith,hope,love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

1 Cor 13:8 " Love never fails."

2005-07-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

This is a long awaited post.

Hi guys, how are you all doing? Fine I hope? Dear readers, you are all sorely missed. I'm seriously contemplating whether to carry on blogging or not. Perhaps, i should stop "preaching" over here at this blog... I'll use it as a place where by i can post my "stories" instead.

Sharing too much stuff about my own self here may prove to be one's own downfall. Why? Firstly, the internet isn't a public place. Secondly, although one is entitled to his/her own opinion, one have to take responsiblity for his/her blog. You never know, someone might take what you comment seriously and use it against you. Thirdly, the blog is no longer an avenue whereby i blare out my frustrations and such. Going directly to God is much more convenient and .. satisfying,.. its not often that after a complaint to God, and you see fire and brimstone being hailed down upon my "hated" persecuters.. (kidding..I'm not called the son of thunder.. maybe fire boy or something.. =p) Naa.. recently, I've been trying to do this,.. to pray and bless the person who does something I hate towards me.. its not fun, its not easy,.. and it feels stupid. Still, God did say in His word, that if I love Him, then I got to live out His commandments.

Slowly but surely, one step at a time, I'm being refined in His fire.

I suppose a good way to look at things would be to rise up above the situation you are at and laugh everything off as if its a big joke. Why? Firstly, I'm depriving the person of his satisfaction of trying to put me down. Next, I'm stretching myself on the inside, enlarging my own personal capacity to handle people.

Big people have big capacity. Small people, complaint and becomes bitter at every little thing that crop up.

Walk the Walk, not just talk it.

No fun,.. still, its interesting to see how I'm trying to change myself..

Willing people make the effort to change. No matter how hard it may seem, regardless of the number of times they fail.

Boy, am I glad no body ever gets flunk out of the kingdom of Heaven. =)

2005-06-26T02:30:00.000+08:00

Today is vision weekend.

“Purpose has pain with it. Sometimes the pain associated with purpose is when you have to make sacrifice of your time, of your money, of your energy. When you have to say no when everybody else is having fun and you have to say no because you are focus on your purpose.”

- Dr A R Bernard

Today is also a day whereby alot of things are sorted out and, alot of things have to be given up. It hurts of course. Sacrifice always involves pain. Be it giving up of friendship, money or your precious.

What is "your precious"?

Its something which you treasure most. It can be a person, or a thing. It can be a relationship or an object. It can be entertainment or your own personal time. Whatever it is, it have to mean alot to you.

Why sacrifice your precious? Cause there can only be 1 precious in your life.

2 Sam 24:24

Then the king (David) said to Araunah, "No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God with that which costs me nothing."

Therefore, i will not offer to God something, that will cost me nothing.

Today I stand before God once again. and I lay down something which means alot to me. But I know that God has a plan for me. I will continue to trust in Him. I've prayed and I have sought advice. We all know that "In the multitude of counsellers there is safety." When more than a few leaders agreed upon a certain issue, then.. there is no doubt about what God wants for me.

I believe that even as I honour God and put Him first, God will surely restore and not only that,.. but pour out so much abundance and blessing that I can only scream for Joy. God is debter to no man. And He certainly does not dishonour anyone who places Him first.

Once again,.. with God before me, carrying my cross.. I walk on..

Have you prepared your sacrifice today for Him?

2005-06-21T01:13:00.000+08:00

Hi all,.. haven't been updating much. Getting alittle on the lazy side. I really love writing. It allows me to think through the things i've done etc. Actually, originally, i started a blog because I had some free time on my hands after I broke off from my past relationship more than a year ago. What started off as something to ponder and placed my thoughts became a hobby?.. haha

Have you ever considered how fortunate you are? To be able to think as you can. To have arms and legs. To have health. For the little things in your life. The friends that you have. The blessings that you are given daily.

Blessings comes in many ways.

Maybe when you are down and your friends cheer you up. Thats a blessing. Maybe when you have no time to get something to eat, and a friend give you a sandwich out of a sudden. Thats a blessing. Maybe when you feel all alone and think that you are all by yourself. Suddenly a friend comes along and told you that you are not alone.. he/she went through it as well.. (Misery loves company huh..) naa.. thats a blessing to.

Remember to count your blessings daily. =)

2005-06-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

Time flies. It waits for no one. People around me are constanting moving on. Leaders rise and fall, people come and go. What is happening? Perhaps i'm left all alone. My dreams are still there. My visions are still around. Its just that nothing is happening. Being left on the shelf is not a good thing. Still, as I was pondering upon this fact. I'm reminded, what is it I'm looking for? Where in lies my fullfilment? Accomplishments? Promotions? Blessings?... or just God. maybe so,.. I just forgotten the simple things. Things are now moving on so fast.. I do not really know what to make of it anymore. All I know, is just to hold on. Keep on holding on and not to let go.

Then,.. I know that I know.

My breakthrough shall surely come.

2005-06-05T14:32:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since I've last posted anything. Though I'm not sure that my posts are missed, well.. I'm back to make an update.

Its been a long while, many things has happened. Results have been obtained, friends have graduated. Half a year has gone by.

I didn't fare well for my exams though. Still I suppose I have no regrets, I paid a price, the only comforting thought is that, the very least i obtained a B for my FYP. I didn't get an A, though it was what I really wanted to get. Still nonetheless all's well.

My Vow to God has ended. Its been a tough year. I've grown much spiritually and mentally. Though I've more to learn, still one thing needs to be said. Its not the end that matters. Its the Journey. Through this year, I've become more stable in many things. All those struggles to maintain having a daily QT into having not only a firm stable relationship with God. But also a more intimate one. I know there's more to be experienced.

Its one thing to do your daily devotional. Its another to enjoy the relationship and the presence of God.

What next? I'm certain that this is going to be a new phase of my life. I'm uncertain as to whether finding a lifetime partner is the next thing on my list. Still, its better to wait on God. And well, yes.. I'm currently being bugged by my friends to tell me to get attached already. Man.. its only been 2 days after my vow? -_-" Relax guys, its all in God's timing.

I suppose its the best to let friendship take its course. I'm not willing to hurry into matters, especially matters of the heart. I suppose its my dream to settle down before 30, well.. God knows best. Lets just see what He'll do.

Ai zhai.

cheers

2005-05-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to write alittle something with this Title called.. "The Perfect Friend." I'm sure many of you have lots of ideas on this subject. In most your mind, you must be thinking about..one or the other of the below mentioned, 1) Jesus, your best friend. 2) Your earthly best friend, how He/She is such a wonderful Blessing to you. or 3) maybe your pet.

Naa,.. i'm not going to write about that. Instead I will write about how YOU can be the Perfect Friend to the people around you. =)

People living in a fallen down world are generally lonely people. Chasing after meaningless dreams. Hoarding up treasures that do not last. Only to realise that at the end of it all. Nothing matters. Imagine knowing you are to die within the next few moments. Yet all you are surrounded by not a single family member or friend. All that lies within your mind are thoughts.. thoughts of regrets, thinking how it could all be different if.. only if you had been nicer to that man who tried to know you a little better. But you were too busy with your work to call him. Too caught with your own life. How about your spouse? The one whom you choosed to spend the rest of your life.. Yet, you neglected the person, taking things for granted always. Where were you when that person needed you the most? Away in some board meetings? Watching the Television? Ignoring the cries, not knowing that all the person want is you, your time, not your gifts, nor stupid excuses.

Friends, to reach that state of life is indeed pitiful. However, God is a Good God, He wants us to Live life abundantly. Bible says in Jn 10:10
"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

The Key to being the Perfect Friend, is to do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

Many people seem to think that they can get away by being selfish. To be self-centered and to always be on the recieving end. Then, after doing it to all their friends, they come crying to you, to ask.. "why is it that all my friends have left me??" Simple,.. you don't want to befriend a selfish bigot do you?.. Neither does your friend. In this case.. the selfish Bigot is YOU.

Friends, look around you, does people flock to you? Or do they avoid you like the plague? If the latter, then you do need to rethink the actions you have done. God is ever so Kind, if you seriously want to change, ask Him. And His Grace will be sufficient for you.

Simple? Yes it is.. still, its easier said then done.

People live life thinking they are in their own university. Doing things self-centeredly, seeking to gain everything for himself. Then wonder why they are unpopular..

Thats is why it is important to be sensitive to the needs of the people around you. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

There are many reasons why people make friends. Some befriend you so that they can gain something from you. Perhaps you are smart, so there will be people who befriend you so as to obtain the notes which you have written. Perhaps you are Rich? So they can get free treats from you? Perhaps you look good and are popular? So they can get to know more people through you?

I've met all kinds of people. Many who have ulterior motives. Thanks be to God that He gives me knowlegde to discern such people. Haha,.. Of course I don't ostracise them.. but i keep them as aquintances. The closest they get to me are just hi-bye friends.. To have friends like them, who need enemies?.. haha..

Of course, one might wonder, I'm different. I'm a lone wolf. I don't need friends. Unfortunately, if you think that way, you're much further from the truth than you think.

God Himself is a trinity. He has complete fellowship with Himself. Still, one day, He decided to have People around in the universe. Hence Creation took place. People were created. He Longs for fellowship with you and me. He decided from the very begining that He wants to fellowship with as many different individuals as much as possible. Hence We are all Uniquely made. Yes, we might be similar in many ways. Still, we are all different in terms of character, look, personality, size, race, etc.. The list probably goes on and on. Hallelujah!

Aren't you glad that our God is a person who loves variety? Haha. However, its important to know that we are created in His Image. That would mean that, since God Himself desires Fellowship, therefore we, who are Created in His Image would have a inward desire to want to Fellowship too. Not only with God, cause thats by default since we were made to want to fellowship with Him, But to have the desire to want to fellowship with one another.

In Gen 2:18 it is written

"And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him"

and in Gen 2:20

"But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. "

That's why, your spouse IS your BEST friend.. I can't think of it any other way...

Anyway, to get back on topic,.. There isn't anyone who is comparable to Man,.. Hence,.. we need the fellowship of people around us to fulfil our destiny. Yes its true. Bible says, Do not be decieved, for Bad company Corrupts Good Morals. Hence, the people whom we mix around with will determine what we become!

So, how can one attract Good friends? Start by being aa Good friend. Read the Above. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Chances are, you will attract like minded people to you. Be generous, and you'll attract generous people to you. Be Godly and you will attract Godly people to you. And when you all get together, you'll challange each other to be even more Godly, to be More Generous.. and its a never ending cirle, to spur each other on towards perfection in Christ Jesus Amen?

Hence, Think not of how can YOU have THE PERFECT FRIEND, BUT, BE a PERFECT Friend to the people around you. Be a blessing to them, not a taker. Edify, not unedify and, your life will be a blessing to many who are around you.

Love people as yourself!

2005-05-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2005-05-01T11:26:00.000+08:00

Eugene,

Your personality is Melancholy Sanguine. You may want to review the definitions

Your scores are Below

Overall:
Melancholy:18
Phlegmatic:6
Sanguine:10
Choleric:4

Strengths:
Melancholy:8
Phlegmatic:2
Sanguine:4
Choleric:4

Weakneses:
Melancholy:10
Phlegmatic:4
Sanguine:6
Choleric:0

Thank you for taking the personality test. The scores above are out of 20 total points for strengths and weaknesses for a total combined point value of 40.Please pass the link on to your friends so you can learn about their personalities. http://www.oneishy.com/personality/

2005-04-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

Luke 14:28
For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it

Have I not counted the cost? Yes, I did. Lots of concerned friends asked me about how would I fare for my exams. I really have no idea. I didn't have much time to study for my papers. I did try to mug last minute.. However, ...well...., we'll know how it'll be when the results are out.

No point thinking too much about it. I went for live recording of course.
Did I regret going? Nope. Its indeed a previlage to serve God. Though there probably will be people who'll say alot about me not being wise and all. Haha. have i sat down and count the cost? you bet I did. I've decided to go for the live recording of course. Maybe my results won't be that great this sem. But Someday, when I look back.. I'll know that I've done something to impact the world.

Whats the apportunity cost for going live recording? having a few extra hours to study.. Will the few hours make a difference in my studying? I have no idea... Probably not i would think.

Do i want to do well for my exams? Of course I would. Why won't I? Will I do well this sem? I don't think so. Perhaps through the grace of God, I'll scrape through. Do i regret it? never..

Foolish? Maybe so...

Someday, when the world has faded away,.. I'll know that the Live Recording has impacted people around the world. I was part of that choir that rocked and brought about revival.

On the other hand what could I have accomplished when I passed on the opportunity and studied in the room?

Passed my paper? with a C grade? Even if I get an A grade. In 10 years time. Would It have mattered? Who can remember? None? Who even cares? Maybe after I'm dead and gone,.. someone would look back and say.. Wow,.. look, Eugene didn't go for live recording, and he studied hard with the time provided, hence he got an A..? Would they bother?
I doubt anyone remembers. Neither will anyone bother. That doesn't mean you don't need to study. Education is important, and its a must.. I WILL Finish my degree by hook or by crook. That a Promise! Wah haha.

I suppose its human vanity and pride to want to be remembered, the great wars fought in ancient history. The inventions, the great discoveries, the first in doing things.. changing history. The name of those people will probably be remembered... But what's in a name? Can the name tell you what kind of a person you are? Did it tell of your entire life story? Did it tell others your moments of fears, or Joy, of happiness, of things exciting. Of sadness, of worries and doubts? No, it can't..

Human life is short. Millions go about un-noticed, millions die un- noticed. Who remembers the person who sat next to you on the bus today? Unless he/she is your friend. I doubt no one knows. People come, people go.

I suppose dreams and visions are so important. They give people direction in life. To achieve something, to have a goal. People without a vision perish. They are lost,.. going about life aimlessly without a destination. My people perish for the lack of knowledge says the Lord. What knowledge? Knowledge that there is a purpose for them. A Plan, A future and a Hope!! Bible says that "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. "

So there is a plan, a purpose and a hope for all!

A divine purpose.

Some are called to be pastors, Some are called to be worship leaders. Some Cell Leaders. Some Elders and decons in the church. Not all have great callings. Some have simple ones. But regardless to wherever you are called. Be faithful and stay commited to the divine vision.

Me? I don't have such great aspirations. To tell you the truth... I wanna lead a simple life. I wanna probably get married someday,.. have some kids, a loving wife. Be a loving husband and a doting father. I want to bring my kids up to be God fearing. I want to worship my God, to tell Him how wonderful and Loving He is. I wanna tell people around me, the Great Things He have done for me. I wanna have my Friends around me..To fellowship, to worship our God together. To share stories and to exchange humorous tales.

Maybe someday, God might use me to impact the nations.

Even if not.

I'll still love Him, I'll Praise Him, I'll Tell People about Him. I'll Want to Point the way to Him. I want to Love Him till the End.

Have you a dream today?

2005-04-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is my first paper.. Thanks for the prayers people. I'm like 1/2 prepared?.. I can give many many excuses as to why i'm so under prepared. But,.. naa,.. I'll just go do my best ya? I hope I won't let you guys down. I hope I won't let God down...

I left 1 tuitorial to scan through, den I'll look through everything once through again, then I'll go bed, wake up early tomorrow and try to recall my formulas before heading to the exam hall. Its like this every semester. Except this semester is especially bad. -_-" FYP ah FYP..

Exam times makes me feel like a caged bird. I long to go out and do the things i want. But i can't. Well, too bad. You guys enjoy on my behalf then. I think every thing will be over soon. I hope so. The hostels are very quiet this semester. I have no idea why. Perhaps the people are indeed mugging like crazy. Or they are just invisible. Life goes on anyway.

Had an enjoyable time with lennie today at the coffee shop. She's a great person to talk to. I can see that SOT has indeed changed her life. She used to be more negative, but now.. wow, she's full of the spirit. Her words encourages me so. Thanks so much lennie. Much talk to you more... speaking of which the other person i love to talk to is.. Hui Ming. Another super nice sister. Hmm.. how come all sisters de.. Oh.. There is my fearless CGL as well. Ryan!! haha...

Speaking to Godly people never fails to impact me. I long so much to stretch myself on the inside.. I guess, besides seeking God whole heartedly, I must also associate with the correct people. Not that I'm going to ignore the rest of my friends. Nope.. I love them all. All means all. haha.. We got to love and mix around with everyone. However, its important to note who are the people we mix around with. To allow into the inner circle of your life. Bible says, Do not be decieved, for Bad company Corrupt Good morals. And pst did says that, IF you wanna soar like an eagle, do not associate around with turkeys.

I think the main point here is not so much as to stop mixing around with wrong people... but to guard your heart when around them, as well as to watch who are the people you allow into your inner circle of life. To impact and to influence you.

ok, enough rubbish.
Time to hit the books again.

Oh a point to note: I might stop blogging altogether. I'm still deciding actually.. Maybe i'll have a blog with restricted access. I have no idea. I really love blogging. But.. I think i might have to stop soon. Well, till then.. cheerios. =)

2005-04-13T01:40:00.000+08:00

Today, was an ok day i suppose. I did try my best to study. Finished 3 tuitorials and.. I can't absorbed any more. I went all the way down to Paya lebar macs to study with a few friends.

Things learnt:

1) Macs is not a good place to study at.

2) Noise sucks. It distracts and irritates you.

3) The foodcourt sucsk too.Terrible tasting food, expensive prices.. insignificant portions.
A lethal combination that assures you that I'll never eat there again.

It never amaze me what exams can do to your life.

Suddenly, everything around you brightens up. There is lessons to be learnt everywhere. Things to be experienced.
Things to think and ponder upon. Books to read. People to go out with. Some many-things to be done with..

Did i ever mentioned I was a good story teller? Haha, maybe some people might disagree. In anycase there will always be
people who will disagree with you everywhere you go. No point pleasing everyone. I suppose in a way, I have much to learn in this
area. I don't like people especially my friends to be upset. Its my blog, if you disagree, simply not vist this blog right..? Else why are
you still around? To read and to complaint? Don't get me wrong. I love to read comments. +ve ones, -ve ones alike, i'm sure i'll read
them through and think about the ideas you are putting across. No point getting all angry and flustered over disagreements. No one
Is exactly the same. Its like what pst said. You are unique, so is everyone else in this world.

Sometimes,.. i wish things can happen differently. But we all move on. People come and people go. I would wish it was never so.

Is this how the end would be like? I recalled seeing an old lady in macs today. She look about in her eighties. She spent her time, just
sitting around in macs. Helping to clear trays and the mess left behind by the patrons. She hobbled along,..being old she can't do much.
She looks a pitiful sight My friends told me she was there all the time. From the opening of the store till the closing of it. Its sad to live out
the end of your days in that manner. No friends, no family. nothing to do. Just waiting..waiting for the end to arrive...

I could feel my heart crying out for her, its such a waste. No one should live out the end of her days in such a manner. People bustled by, going
about their own activities,.. my friends studying, students chatting. people enjoying their meals. All this took place in an instant as i look at this old lady.
(Instant it has to be, got to study loh..) Sad.

Life consists of things, a myrid of good, bad and ugly. I thank God for being there with me every moment. I thank God for friends who are always around me,
though many seem to come and go. I pray for someone who will live out her days by my side. Am I desperate? Yes and No. We all want to be secured;
ask around. Its true. Why no? umm.. its going to be one .. so.. better make sure its the correct one. I'm not about to go around breaking my heart again.
Its to fragile for that. Who know how many knocks can it take? In anycase, every relationship takes time to cultivate. Do I have many years left? No..

Why is it that it seems that during examinations that I always blog such thoughts? I've no idea.. stress? maybe. Uncertainty? Definatly. Most of my friends
will graduate and leave this place.. I'll still be around here. Sucky.. but well, got to face the music. haha.. you reap what you sow.

Dear Heavenly Father.

You see the things I go though, you know the thoughts I think.You alone understand and know the Plans you have for me.
Sharpen my character, make me the man you want me to be. Give me strength to go though these days of my life.
Mould me and change me. Give me wisdom to make the correct choices. Give me courage to believe in myself. Give me the
assurance of your presence and guard my heart with your everlasting peace. Dear God, though people may not all agree with me,
I thank you Lord, that you are for me and never against me. Teach me your ways oh God. Correct me when I'm wrong. Create in me
a clean and pure heart, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence oh God, and take not thy Holy Spirit from
me. Restore unto me, the Joy of your salvation and renew a right spirit within me.

Bless my friends oh God. Protect them wherever they are. Bless their hands that they succeed in all that they do. Grant them favour with people,
Heal those who are sick, strengthen those who are weak in health. I pray that you lift up the countanance of those who are down. Remove their burdens
oh God, you said in your word that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. I pray that you guide them with your Holy Spirit and grant them your wisdom
in all things, that they might make the correct decision wherever they are. Above all, Bless them mightly, in their lives and their family.

In Jesus most precious name.
Amen.

2005-04-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

Tired ahhh.. anyway, had a great day today!! =).. Hmm, uploaded are the pictures of my grandma's birthday.. look at all the yummy food... shiok.. sighs.. my poor poor wife must be a good cook man.. else.. haiz... jia lat.. haha.. i really do enjoy good and yummy food.. well.. hahaha.. yay.. click on the month of apr to see all the yummy yummy foods... whoo hoo!!!

2005-04-10T00:36:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU DEAREST GRANDMA!! WHOO HOO!!!

2005-04-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

My Grandma's birthday Cake.. and its.. erm.. coffee flavoured?? -_-"... haha.. i'm no fan of coffee.. haha

2005-04-10T00:34:00.001+08:00

More Act cute pics.. wah ahhaha

2005-04-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

Act cute pic with my dear God sister.. =)

2005-04-10T00:33:00.000+08:00

Last Dish, Yam Paste with coconut milk.. whoo hoo... yum yum.. haha

2005-04-10T00:32:00.001+08:00

Roasted Duck... not my fave kind of meat.. but well.. one of the dishes anyway.. haha

2005-04-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

Crispy noodles fried with prawns and veg,, another yummy dish..

2005-04-10T00:31:00.000+08:00

Glutinous Rice Fried with garlic crabs.. shiok shiok.. drools.. yumz

2005-04-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

Prawns wrapped with Bacon and Deep fried. shiok dish man!

2005-04-10T00:29:00.000+08:00

Fried Tau hu with Brocoli.. shiok 1st dish..

2005-04-10T00:28:00.000+08:00

Yummy Veg fried with "Pi Dan"

2005-04-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

Magdaline =)

2005-04-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

Mycousin, Brandon and Matilda

2005-04-05T11:42:00.000+08:00

A few thoughs while thinking about man, woman and ribs...

The woman is created out from man's rib.

Yes. we (guys) all have a missing rib.

Its taken out of the left side of your rib cage. The last one. It connects to your sternum. Well, feel it?.. of course you can't. Its gone remember? God has used it to create someone.

Since its your rib.

The person created will have similiar characteristics to you.
Just like you.

Since its a missing rib. She'll be different from you in many ways. She's the missing link. She'll complete and make you whole. (if you find her..)

The rib was taken out, next to your heart.
So that you'll love her. She'll help you guard your heart.

The rib was taken out of your side.
Male and female, both are created equal with different roles to play in life.

The rib is under your arm.
So that you'll have to protect her.

Oh, rib.. where art thou?

Tony Roma's roasted ribs anyone?

kidding.

bwa hahahaha

2005-04-05T11:27:00.000+08:00

It's been rainy for the past few days. Hope the wet weather have not dampen the spirits you peeps have. =) Sometimes, things just don't seem to go our way. Whatever can we do? We can choose to sulk. (well, the majority of us do..haa) or we can choose to take action. Regardless, there are situations which you can't really do anything except to wait.

Most times, that is the best solution.

To wait.

Do you guys remember the the promises God has given to you?

I'm sure many of you do. Some of it has come to pass. Some are still on the way. No way God has forgotten it.

Sometimes, i feel that way too.

Its as if, the whole world is moving on, except you.

In times like this. Hold on to God. Hold on to His word.

Jos 21:45 says
"Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass"

We are God's children.. adopted into christ, hence we are also from the house of Israel. Spiritual desendants of abraham. God's promise to us, never fails. It always comes to pass. In his good timing..

Cheers people.

Keep on keeping on.

2005-04-05T03:02:00.000+08:00

Kanna saboed with a purple balloon.. well.. lalala~

2005-04-05T03:01:00.000+08:00

my messy hostel room

2005-04-05T02:59:00.000+08:00

Plant

2005-04-05T02:58:00.000+08:00

Nice Grass by the drain side

Healing Rain

2005-04-03T01:23:00.000+08:00

Healing rain, is coming down...
It's coming nearer... to this old town...
Rich and poor,.. weak and strong...
It's bringing mercy,.. it won't be long...

Healing rain is coming down..
It's coming closer... to the lost and found...
Tears of joy,... and tears of shame...
Are washed forever,.. in Jesus' name...

Healing rain,... it comes with fire...
So let it fall... and take us higher....
Healing rain,... I'm not afraid...
To be washed... in Heaven's rain..~

Lift your heads,.. let us return..
To the mercy seat... where time began...
And in your eyes,.. I see the pain..
Come soak this dry heart... with healing rain..

And only You,... the Son of man...
Can take a leper... and let him stand...
So lift your hands,... they can be held...
By someone greater,... the great I Am...

Healing rain,.. it comes with fire..
So let it fall.. and take us higher..
Healing rain,.. I'm not afraid..
To be washed... in Heaven's rain...
To be washed... in Heaven's rain...

Healing rain is falling down..~
Healing rain is falling down..~
I'm not afraid..~
I'm not afraid.... ~

2005-03-31T12:03:00.000+08:00

I know, I know I've let you down...~
I've been a fool to myself...~
I thought I could
live for no one else.
But now, through all the hurt and pain..~
Its time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything..

So with sadness in my heart,
I feel the best thing I could do..
is end it all, and leave forever~
whats done is done, it feels so bad~
what once was happy now is sad,
I'll never love againmy world is ending~

I wish that I could turn back time,
cos now the guilt is all mine~
cant live without the trust from the those you love.
I know we can't forget the past,
you cant forget love and pride..~
because of that its killing me inside..~

It all returns to nothing,
it all comes, tumbling down,
tumbling down,tumbling down.
it all returns to nothing,
I just keep letting me down,
letting me down,
letting me down..~

in my heart of hearts,
I know that I called never love again,
I've lost everything, everything.
that matters to me,matter in this world
I wish that I could turn back time..
cos now all the guilt is mine...
cant live withoutthe trust from those you love.

I know we can't forget the past,
you can't forget love and pride..~
because of that, its killing me inside.

It all returns to nothing,
it all comes tumbling down,
tumbling down, tumbling down,
it all returns to nothing,
I just keep letting me down,
letting me down, letting me down.~
It all returns to nothing,
it all comes tumbling down,
tumbling down, tumbling down.
it all returns to nothing,
I just keepletting me down,
letting me down,letting me down..~

A moment to Chillout..

2005-03-30T01:09:00.000+08:00

Finally, some time to myself. Since this morning, I've been dedicating myself to my report. (currently I'm at page 65) Not too bad considering the fact that I was at page 10 only yesterday morning, and at page 20 last night. God is Good. Without His strength, i won't be able to outlast this pattern of things.

FYP SUCKS

Yes it does. I wish i can tell you more about what I'm doing, but I suppose the technical jaron will probably bore you, if not muffle you to death. Like what my professor likes to profess, " SPEAK LIKE A RESEARCHER!!"

A whole bunch of Hogwash if you were to ask me. DO I EVEN LOOK LIKE A RESEARCHER TO YOU??.. hahaha, at least I know that 1 person in this world seems to think that I should be one.. (my prof lar, who else..)

As I'm typing all these down now, I'm also enjoying my Ben and Jerry's CHUNKY MONKEY. I rather have my Rum and Raisin..well.. beggers can't be choosers can we? Anyway, its the only tub of icecream in the freezer. Which reminds me that I should go buy more. hiakz.. Rum and Raisin that is.

Someone said that I should improve my chinese. Me being chinese and all. I would love to. But its hard. I dun even get much opportunity to speak chinese, whats more to write? My parents speak english to me at home so.. yups.

Like I've always said, find a wife who is zhai in chinese, can liao loh.. Problem Solved. =p (Man, think of the tuition she'll force me to go under.. shudders at the though of.. "EUGENE ANG, HAVE YOU FINISH YOUR ZHUO WEN??" Me: "No dearest.. I'm trying my best.." She :" Well, you Better TRY HARDER, ELSE THERE WON'T BE DINNER FOR YOU TONIGHT!!") Scary isn't it?

Well, My wife must also be a good cook lar, good at housework lar,.. chio bu lar.. spiritual lar.. Good at singing, Great character lar, Intelligent lar.. Loving, caring and kind lar..etc..

erm,.. me on the other hand,.. haha, I'm a bummer, a slacker, an evil guy who oftens threaten others. A ugly troll who cannot sing, dance nor act, lacks talent. Throw in craziness.. well, there you have it.

Me.

Hahaha.

Well, they always says Prayer works wonders. Lets see the likes of the poor sister who ends up with me. Kudos to her i suppose.

Then again,.. I'm just evil.

Wah hahaha.

God Bless you all.

PIGGY-EST DAY.. so far..

2005-03-28T16:01:00.000+08:00

To say i'm tired will be an understatement. I AM TIRED. -_-" The past few days are sure fun though. I love Big days, even though the are tiring, the do cause oneself's capacity to be greatly increased. Then, there is the fellowship.

Everytime, i'll get to mix around, meet new people, try to get to know them better. I'm trying my best to integrate everyone together. I feel that its great to be able to serve God together as a unit whole. United, in unity. In unison!

Talking about sleep, today is one of my piggy-est days. I woke up at 10.30am, Prayed, talked to Daddy did my report alittle, showered den went to buy lunch for my mum and myself. Came back about 12.30? Ate, then slept till now, about 3.30pm. Now i'm trying my utmost to piah my report.

Tired still, i doubt trying to sleep anymore will be able to replenish back lost sleep. well.. better hit my report again.. haha.. =p

Whatever...

2005-03-23T09:45:00.000+08:00

Man, its terrible. My knee hurt, I broke my specs and I was pissed off yesterday. Well, It could be worse?.. haha.. I feel like crap now..

Story?

Maybe i should begin from the top huh.. hmm, I went jogging with max the other day. (Getting fat lar, got to train ..) Not really a long distance, maybe about 5km or so.. In anycase, i happen to have an old injury in my left knee, last i heard from the doc, that the ligament is injured.. well, the pain wasn't so bad after the jog (not last night, the previous night i went jogging), yesterday,..at certain points, it hurts when ever my knee moves.. hmm, well, the pain comes and goes,.. so i might be walking normally a moment, and the next, i would be limpling.

Be Healed In Jesus Name!!

Its better now, at least i don't feel the pain when i'm walking around. Praying that it stays that way.

Careless me accidentally dropped my specs last night before bed. Now, i got to use the nerdy pair of specs. Well, too bad i suppose.

Pissed off? Hmm, well, i'm not really angry with the person i suppose. I just don't like the way he behaves. his attitude towards things and well, the way he speaks?

I've never seen self promotion to that extent before. Its unbelievable, he's able to direct every topic to himself. (pardon me if it sounds like I'm complaining, YES, I AM...well, its my blog so LET ME.. wah ahhaha, in anycase, i never claimed that i was a good guy.. kekeke) Ok, i seldom get pissed. Not that i'm good tempered. Ask my old friends, and you would know that i'm quite hot tempered in the past. Still, he fails to rules his spirit is like a city without walls yeah? Anyway, I'm usually not pissed off that easily. Perhaps i was tired. (yes, when i'm tired, my self control goes down..) Perhaps it was just a clash in personality.

Maybe you got to be there to see it for yourselves? Haha. One of the events that took place went something like this:

A: hey, heard you got a blessing. so, can treat us ah? (joking manner)

B: huh?

A:this morning you were saying that you got some financial blessings right?

whole group cheers of yeah, treat lar.. can be heard (joking of course..)

B to A: ok lor, i treat.. THEN YOU PAY FOR MY GUITAR Maintenance LA. (stern, straight to the face)

A: !!!??? Stunned...

I was quite pissed at this point in time. I never want people to be hungry. I've always believed in abundance. I don't care if i get back the blessings i give out or not. I Believe in blessing others, because they are my friends and that its always better to give than to recieve.

In anycase, if you don't like the way i operate. I'm sorry, i never said i was a good guy before. So too bad. -_-" (I'm stubborn in case you guys haven't noticed by now.)

To top it all, the guy still had the cheek to say that he's first to bless others.

Let his actions speak louder than his words.

I seriously have a very bad impression of him, not that it has been good before. I've know deep within that I can't click with this guy.

I don't hate him. I just don't appreciate his company.

count me out whenever he's around.

God bless him anyway. *Shrugs*

Yes, Jesus Loves Me, For the Bible tells me so.

2005-03-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

Jesus Loves me this I know,
For the bible tells me so,
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.

Yes Jesus Loves me,
Yes Jesus Loves me,
Yes Jesus Loves me,
For the bible tells me so.

Its always the simple things that draws us closer to God.
Never the complicated, never the profound, never the complex.
I learnt of this song when I was but a little boy in St Andrew's Primary School.
It didn't mean much to me then.

Today, I've learnt that within its simple lyrics, its holds a depth that shatters a heart that's
harden. A heart that has become encrusted with sin, with defilment. A heart that has become
stone cold. Disappointments, resentments, anger, bitterness, hatred.. It causes people to become cynical and disillusioned.

Maybe you are one of those, who are hurt today. Maybe you are one of those who carries a load, a burden from the past. Maybe you feel that you are too far gone, that there is no turning back to God. How wrong can you be.. for The Lord My God loves you with an everlasting Love.
He loves you, with a love that can never be measured.

You are and will always be a child to His eyes. Children who cannot defend themselves. Like all children, we all make mistakes, we get dirty in the mud, still.. We are His children, and He loves us just as we are.

Jesus Loves me this I know,
For the bible tells me so,
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.

Yes Jesus Loves me,
Yes Jesus Loves me,
Yes Jesus Loves me,
For the bible tells me so.

This song, explains it all. Is it really so hard to understand and to accept?

On a sidenote, today's P&W is really great. The presence of God is strong indeed. I suppose that for many, we have caught something from the previous week's services at the indoor stadium.

Once touched, never the same again...

Ever.

A tribute to friends.. Part 1

2005-03-19T11:09:00.000+08:00

Friends.. people who have impacted my life. Some in more ways than others. Guess its a good time to appreciate others as any. Who knows what the future holds? haha, I'm not being negative, I probably won't go home to the Lord for sometime, as I have much left to do for my dear Father in heaven. Still, I wanna write about people. They are not in order of importances, still, read on people.

My Cellgroup

Peilong : hey hey peilong. really appreciate you for you being who you are. I've always remembered you for being the great brother that you are. Always being accomdating and patient with people around. can see that you have been growing from faith to faith and glory to glory. I know that someday you'll make a great leader in church de.

Liyi : hello Da jie. Remember the days we always gao xiao around when we were in bro wai's CG? Wha haha. when we used to complaint about this and that. How that hasall changed ya? Now we are all fighting the good fight of faith and moving on from Glory to glory. Glad that we are in the same ministry ya? truely its a great previlage to be a levite, to usher in the presence of God.

Hui Ming : Yo yo! Hui Ming,.. this woman is an incredible servant for God, always faithfully serving Him in her Usher ministry. She's Zhai and really smart too! Ever sensitive to the needs of other people with a great personality to boot, what else can you ask for in a friend? =)

Vicky : yeah! Hi hi kiki, haha, I knew her in NTU, and well, managed to pester and brought her down to church, If there was a purpose of me being in NTU, I suppose kiki is it.. haha, Truely God works in mysterious ways ya.. She's a great friend too, and she has a great burden for people who are lost.. Jia you kiki san.. =)

Ryan : My fearless Cell Leader.. whoo hoo.. yups, zhai, shuai, great personality, spiritual.. every girl's dream husband material .. erm.. wa haha.. Thank you for all that you have done, your blood, tears, sweat, prayers, discipleship and counsel made us what we are today. Thank God for you being our CGL, more than that, thank you for being a friend to us.

Max : A faithful and encouraging brother. I share much in common, yet have much differences with him. You can call his thinking logical, weird or funny. I would perfer to call it unique. Thanks max for the difference you have made in the lives of people. For standing in the gap, for being a great brother. Know that though for many, the small things you have done might be forgotten, but for others, like me,.. I remember and appreciate all that you do. Know that God sees the things you have done, and your reward in heaven is by no means a small one. Jia you.

Mike : Hi mike, a very Wen Zhong brother, one who seems to be very stern and unapproachable. Still, once you know him, its a different thing all together. He's a great brother and friend, someone who has alot of knowledge and well, has gone through quite abit, so, he can give good counsel. Its great fun serving together with you, and I really enjoy having those bible discussions with you. You know alot for one, and its fun to debate with you.. haha..

Joyce : Thanks for lending me ya notes, might not have made it without them.. hee =) This sister is my treasurer in CG, merticulous and detailed, you can be sure she does her work well. Jia you.

Vicky : Hey hey kiki, great to know that you have handed in your FYP report already.. This sister is my university friend, we mugged together, complained about school work together, attended lecture together.. and we have the same group of friends in school, Glad that i know you vicky, life in uni would have been so different without you. Haha, I remembered that once you were telling others "Wah Eugene is from CHC de, he got all the different coloured T-Shirts from the wild wild west thingy.." strange thing is that a few mths down the road, she came over to CHC.. hahaha.. God works in mysterious ways indeed..

Xinglian : Ah lian is a great sister, very encouraging (remembered the sweets you bought for us to encourage us during exam period..), sensative to the needs of people around her as well as a person who loves to serve. Thanks for helping me sms people.. haha, really appreciate it ya.. =)

Thats's it for now i guess,.. i'll post more soon.. keke..

情非得已

2005-03-15T15:05:00.000+08:00

難以忘記初次見你,..
一雙迷人的眼睛, 在我腦海裡,..
你的身影, 揮散不去...
握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔,..
真的有點透不過氣,..
你的天真, 我想珍惜..
看到你受委屈我會傷心喔...~

Chorus
只怕我自己會愛上你...
不敢讓自己靠得太近...
怕我沒什麼能夠給你..
愛你也需要很大的勇氣~

只怕我自己會愛上你..
也許有天會情不自禁..
想念只讓自己苦了自己..
愛上你是我情非得已..

Bridge
什麼原因 Ya-~ 我竟然又會遇見你..
我真的真的不願意, 就這樣陷入愛的陷阱 Oh-~

update update

2005-03-14T20:30:00.000+08:00

Update updates..

Benny Hinn was great, never have I experienced such a touch and power of the Holy Spirit. As for the enoounters, check out the blogs of the others, though i believe that my own experience is different, still .. since most of us are there,.. i guess there isn't much to boast about isn't it?

Rest.

Thats what we all need sometime. Still there is this sense of emptiness, its like this after every huge event. I hate it, the sudden feeling of inactivity. I have work to do too, still its a different kind of work.. how can school work ever compare to what you do when you serve in the ministry?

Hmm, days are flying past by me quicker than ever now..

Exams are round the corner, but i have yet to finish my FYP report. So much to do, so little time. Easter is also around the corner. .. I pray and hope there will be a production. It will be fun. Haha..

In the still of the night...

2005-03-05T00:39:00.000+08:00

The young man sat down infront of his computer, looking through the old photos that he has taken. Every photo, every video .. each image, a still shot taken of time gone past.

Each of them, a treasured memory. Each of them bringing forth a sense of nostalgia. A part of life, captured and transfered into an unanimated form.

To others, its just another picture. To him and to a few perhaps.. who were there at that point of time. It holds a sense of meaning. A purpose, a sense of belonging.

Happy days ages past. Perhaps never to return ever again.

A million thoughts course through his mind. Work, deadlines, goals, objectives to be met, problems to be solved, promises to be kept, things to be done. It all seems to build up more and more each time so.

Still, for now, he is simply contented to just remember the old days.

Someone once said, that one should never look back at his past.

Still, its his very past that made him the person he is today. Denial of one's past never make one a better person. Acceptance of one's history however edges one on, to better things ahead.

Sometimes, life almost seems just too hard for the young man to bear. Still, its in times whereby things seems impossible, that as he shoulders on, he learns to overcome and to strengthen himself.

At times, his soul and his heart feels just to heavy and weary to carry on. Still the young man weathers on. His cheerful exterterior, a facade to encourage others, to motivate and to bring much welcome to their gloomy day.

He knows that in all these, he is never alone. He knows that he carries more responsibilities than that of just his life alone. He knows that though seasons change, people move on, friends forget and that time shifts... still there is always Him who remains constant.

He knows that sometimes, circumstances doesn't allow people to keep their word. Even though promises are created, still fellowships are broken. Nonetheless, people come and people go.

Perhaps, its foolish to hope. Perhaps, its unwise to trust so much sometimes. But still, it has always remain a choice to this young man.
And he knows that he has already purposed in his heart , to always love, cherish and trust.

come what may.

Meaningless Meaningless Meaningless..

2005-03-02T12:46:00.000+08:00

"Vanity of vanities," says the Preacher; "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity." What profit has a man from all his labor In which he toils under the sun?
One generation passes away, and another generation comes; But the earth abides forever.
The sun also rises, and the sun goes down, And hastens to the place where it arose.
The wind goes toward the south, And turns around to the north; The wind whirls about continually, And comes again on its circuit.
All the rivers run into the sea, Yet the sea is not full; To the place from which the rivers come, There they return again.
All things are full of labor; Man cannot express it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor the ear filled with hearing.
That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which it may be said, "See, this is new"? It has already been in ancient times before us.
There is no remembrance of former things, Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come By those who will come after.

Ec 1:2-11

News, Bad? Good?

2005-02-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

Today in the papers, a pretty young korean actress hung herself. The reason of her suicide?

Depression.

Why? She's so young, only 24. She's successful, she has money, fame and all. Yet, she couldn't come to terms with herself. She wrote in her suicide note that she loved money. For the sake of money, she posed nude in some film. Perhaps somewhere along the line she realised that it was all a mistake. She didn't want to do that. Perhaps her family wasn't supportive of what she did. Perhaps, she felt that it was too big a wrong and that she cannot cope with it. That she couldn't find any other way out. Perhaps to her, death was the only solution, the only way out. Her young life snuffed out by a single wrong decision.

The chase after money, an empty pursuit. Running after wind and vanities. Maybe she felt that there isn't a 2nd chance. That her life, once marred by sin, cannot be made right anymore.

We all have past histories. Some of us have been through the darker part of the valley of bacca (Sorrow). Some perhaps, through the grace of God has been spared that. I believe that even for myself, I've done a great deal of wrong in my life. Short of the grace of God. I'm unworthy to go before the throne of God myself.

How amazing His grace is. That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost in the circumstances of my sin, but now am found, was blind to everything. But now, I see. Maybe you have never pondered upon the hymn Amazing Grace. Truely, unless you have been there, you would not understand how beautiful its lyrics are. The depth of its implication.

There was a time when I used to think that God can't bring me out of my situation. Till one day, i realised that its all human pride and foolishness. Bible says in rom 10:13 that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. If i were to say that i'm too far gone, won't i be saying that God's a liar? Its the pride in me that refuses to acknowledge that truely His grace is sufficient for me. That his goodness leads me to repentance. Rom 2:4 and that 1 john 1:9 says that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our shop and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. All means All amen?

Maybe you have forgotten about God today. About what He can do for you. Maybe you have unforgiveness in your heart. Maybe you have sin in your past life that you think is too great for you to handle. Friends, i've great news for You. Our God and heavenly Father is near to you today right now. Ps 119:151. His arm is not so short that it cannot save. His burden is easy and his yoke is light. He has plans for you. Good plans, He thinks Good thoughts towards you. Bible says in jer 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Above all, God loves us with an ever lasting Love. Maybe your soul is weary tonight. You are stressed with the things at work, school. Disappointed with people, friends, family. With relationships. Earthly things have left you dry. Come to the Father today.

For He is your everything. He has promised in His word that He is the river of life, whoever who drinks of Him shall never thirst again.

Father God, I thank you for the things that you have done for me. For your grace. Father God, I pray for my friends who are reading this right now. That you know all things. You know that some of them are weary Lord, you know that some of them are tired. You know that some of them have broken hearts and that some of them are sick in their bodies. Father, i pray for them, that you are Jehova Rophe, The Lord my healer. That you heal them oh lord of their sickness. God i pray that you begin to refresh them God. Send to them Your Holy spirit. God I pray that you begin to heal hearts and broken spirits right now. I pray that your Holy spirit begin to Empower their lives. To make them a blessing to the people around them. That you give them favour, the favour of men. I ask that you begin to make them the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. Father God, i pray that you give them wisdom to do all things, that they can be all things to all men. That they can be problem solvers and overcomers. Above all God i pray that you give them your peace. Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard their hearts and minds in christ Jesus. We love You and we praise you, and in Jesus most precious name. Amen.

The next phase?

2005-02-20T01:46:00.000+08:00

Its been a tough few weeks for me. I hope people reading this blog don't stumble yah? As much as I wish to be perfect. Sadly, this isn't the case. Yes, I do have ups and downs. I am pretty much very the same like you guys. Cut me and I bleed hello? I do have faults and weaknesses still and I am very much in the process of learning how to be a better person.

Spiritually, I've not been faring well lately, till the past few days of course.. Nope, I've still been doing my QT and daily devotion, nope, I didn't skip CG neither did I skip church. I pray, I Praise and Worship still... I serve.. So whats the problem with me?

I can't explain much. I just felt tired. Burdened? (I do have alot in mind, yes I think alot and I have alot to think about.) Simply put, I'm just not at 100% for the past few weeks. But I've finally gotten out of it.. Yups Breakthrough at last I guess.

During Cellgroup, Bro Ryan (My CGL) prayed for those who felt tired. Yeah, I was one of those. The verse which ministered to me was

Gal 6:9 "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart "

During my daily devotion with God this morning, I was reading about Mary and Martha. About, Mary being caught up with God, while Martha being concerned about many other things...

In a way, I was subtly being distracted by the hustle and bustle around my life. The business and all. God was reminding me not too lose Focus.

I guess the most exciting part came during service today. Before service started, we all had this prayer meeting. Bro Jeffery Gow, one of the Service 3 Choir ICs (not Jeff Choy, that one is in service 6 de..) Suddenly popped out of nowhere and joined me and another brother for prayer, I prayed for both of them, while Bro Jeff prayed for me. It was a strange prayer.

He thanked God for alot of things over my life (didn't really make sense to me at that point in time..) For the training that God has made me gone through, for the training that will come, for the things that God has called me for etc.
I was seriously quite lost if you were to ask me. After which, he told me to find him after service is over.

And I did. He told me that while praying, he had a vison for me. In his vision I was a race horse. Horses, in case you do not know, are typically wild, even if brought up in captivity (thats what he says lar,,... i'm trying to recall the things he says..) Hence, when a horse is about to go for a race, it would mean that it has finished all training required of it. In my case, the horse even has "hoof guards" which means that it was about to start the race. I gave a blank stare..
He then further explained. God has prepared you for a time as this. You have finished all that is neccessary. Your training is complete. However, do not lose your focus. The next step you will be in the race already. Rememeber, what are the things God told you to focus upon, continue to focus on them and run the race, else you would be disqualified even before the race starts...

I was like.. WOW... but I sort of understood what God was telling him, and me.. of course. It all ties down to one thing. God should be the main focus. The rest will fall into place nicely.

Hmm, its going to be an interesting year indeed. Well jia you de. you guys have to jia you too!!

Blog again.

Sickness revisited

2005-02-17T10:35:00.000+08:00

Man, ITS BACK..

Woke up with a bad tummy ache at 5am +.. den go sleep, den woke up this morning, tummy ache again, and go LS again.. FLu, sore throat.. its back.. and I really dun feel like going out today.. but I need to go do my FYP

haiz.. really not sure how... maybe its wiser if i were to stay home today?

Ugh..

Questions Questions..

2005-02-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

I clutched onto my note book tightly. I have been waiting for a long long time for an opportunaty such as this. Looking down the corridoor of the huge hall, I can't help but think how fantastic this all is.

Finally an Angel came up to me. He looked so much like the rest of us. He has such kind looking eyes. Then he said "Come, He's waiting for you.." I got up of my chair and followed him. We seem to be walking for all eternity when suddenly He stopped.

"He's waiting for you inside."

I looked at the door. White with a tiny tag on it. Looking at it closely It said "Eugene Ang Ming Kwang"

"Hey, its my name.." I exclaimed.

The Angel just smiled at me and pushed the door open.

Its an ordinary room. Empty except for huge rows of bookshelfs all over. I was just about to walk over when I heard a voice calling me. I glanced over to see who was it that was calling me.

I saw a young man, looking at me. He looks very much the same as the Angel who brought me here. except more ordinary. He has the same kind eyes as the Angel, yet there is something more about Him that I cannot describe. He smiled and said "Come here Eugene. I've been waiting for you."

Puzzled I walked over. "Excuse me sir, but who are you?" I said.

He simply smiled and replied. "I know you Eugene, I have always known you."

And I knew that Its Him. I fell down immediately upon my knees.

"My Lord, My Lord.." I just couldn't understand, how am I ever worthy enough t o see Him face to face.

"My Child, come here, lets take a walk.."

I got up, and stood next to Him, and we began to walk though the shelves of books. Frantically, I began to flip through my notebook and look for the questions which i wanted to ask.

"God, why is there so much suffering in the World? Why do Good People Die young and Why Do Bad people seem to prosper so?"

Jesus just gave me a quick glance, and I caught a glimmer of sadness as He replied "I Love you all. Both the Good and the Bad. The Good, I brought them home, so that they need not suffer evil in the world. The Evil, I left them behind, so that they can have a chance to repent. I gave everyone a chance. The sufferings are brought about because they refuse to acknowlege me nor my commandments."

I thought for a moment before I asked again. "God, why is that Love seems so difficult? It never seems to be smooth. Every girl I liked, she doesn't seem to like me. Its always so sucky. I believe I'm not the only one too. I know of a few friends who seem to have such tragedies."

Jesus looked me over and said "My child, In all things, there is a perfect time and place. I have prepared her for you. Similarly you are being prepared for her. Your Dreams and your visions. Your Goals and your Desires. I know them. I know them long before you were born. I was the one who placed them within you. And I will bring them to pass. All I require of you, is for you to Trust me."

I stopped and pondered for a while. Then I asked again "God, how do I know if the person is the one for me?"

Jesus smiled at that, and He replied. "You will know her when you meet her. You will know that you know that you know. My Holy Spirit will tell you."

Utterly confused I began to ask again. "How God? How?"

He replied" You know me Eugene. You know my Voice. You know that I will answer you when you talk to me. You know that I am concerned about your Life. You know..."

Finally, i asked again. "God why are you so Good to me?"

At this He looked at me and said. "Because I love you."

2000 Years ago, we asked Him, How much do you love us?" He replied "this much" And He Stretched out His hands, and died upon the cross for our sins. This He did, to ensure that We can come before Him freely and to see Him face to face.

No greater Love has He. than He who would lay down His Life for a friend.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Interview with the Guru

2005-02-15T12:41:00.000+08:00

It has come to my attention that there are alot of love lorned people out there who seeks true love. The lack of finding this love seems to throw them into a sort of frenzy. Extreme mood swings, negative thoughts, low self esteem and the likes are just one of the few symptoms of the dreaded disease. (Love Sickness)

While not life threatening, it is however extremely hard to cure. Hence, the self proclaimed love guru (thats me of course) has decided to come up with a series of questions and answers to help combat this deadly disease.

1) Oh Great Guru of Love (GOL), whats the first thing you do in the morning when you get up?

GOL: I look at my alarm clock and scream.

2) what do you do that for?

GOL: A couple of reasons really, i might be late for school, forgot to do something the night before, or woke up too early.

3) I'm in love oh great one, what am i supposed to do?

GOL: Well, what do You want to do? Have you decided that she's the one? Or is it some stupid fling? Did God say anything?

4) She's the one for me oh Guru of Love, she has captivated my heart, everytime i see her, my heart goes into a beating frenzy. God has pointed neon lights to her, my senses all tell me that she's the One!

GOL: so what does she feels or think about you?

5) She barely notice my pitiful existance. Everytime i see her, i blend into the wallpaper..

GOL: Good Luck to you!

6) ??!!?! What do you mean oh great Guru? What does the stars say?

GOL: Quit wasting my time you pitiful moron. You are not even friends and you want to jump straight into a relationship? The stars bodes evil, you are going to be epitomised as the symbol of lonliness... You will suffer from the above symptoms of this dreaded disease till the day you pass on to never never land.

7) Oh great guru, save me, save me!! Save Meee!

GOL: repent of your pitiful stupidity. First start out as friends. Don't even have the hint of seeking to be attached. Your sisters in christ are not potential girlfriends nor wife material. You need boundaries to follow and to safe guard yourself. In every friendship put God first and let Him be the Lord of your friendship. You will need to know what kind of a person you are going to be attached to in the future. What her character is going to be like. If you have not even thought about it, or know what is it that you want in a spouse, you are infinitely far from ever going into a relationship. Guidelines to follow, Be Equally Yoked! Means, are your spiritual levels similar? Do you complement each other? Do you look like Mr personality (they call you mr personality because you are so ugly.) while she is the most beautiful girl in the world? Did God say anything, or is it you wanting her? What do you want to go into a relationship for? So that you can love and cherish the other person? To make that person's life a heaven on earth, or to fulfil your own lustful and selfish desires? Do you all share common dreams, goals and visions? Else can you support the other persons dreams and goals and vision? Ask yourself. You know the answer...

8) Wow, thats a great long list of questions to be fulfilled, hold on while i go bang my head against the wall for my inaptness...

GOL: Make sure it hurts...

9) There, the pain in my head is eliminating my stupidity. I can feel it. Meanwhile let me print out the above questions, burn them, dump the ashes into a glass and drink it all up. That way, it'll be a part of me.

GOL: yes, that's right. Remember not to go to the toilet after drinking the contents. You don't want to forget them do you? Also, do take note that i'm charging $5 per question asked and answered.

10) what? That's day light robbery. Anyway, i've got a friend who's in love with his friend. They love each other, yet there are circumstances that do not allow them to be together. What can he do?

GOL: Although there are many things that are happening. Much is really not within the control of our hands. I would advice this. To watch, to pray and to seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and All these things shall be added unto you.

Thank you for your time Oh Great Guru of Love. I shall do my best to seek Love the way God wants me to. Not the way i want to.

GOL: Yes, thats a wise decision. May you prosper in your love life as your soul prospers.

Disclaimer : Do note that the above is written solely for desperate people. Any damages to personal health, emotional, psychological or physical as well as damages to the relationships around you, are caused due to your own stupidity. Do not seek the Great Guru of Love for compensation. Any similarity to any person dead or alive is purely coincidental. Follow advice at own risk. Please direct all questions to the Love Guru.

Have fun.

Sick

2005-02-14T12:14:00.000+08:00

Yeah,... I guess i'm sick at last. I've got a bad case of runny nose. Cough, and sore throat. I lost my voice totall this morning. Not a wittle of sound came out. So tired and sleepy. Think i should get more sleep..

But I got to do my maths.. sigh

maybe i'll have an hour's nap..

I hate to be sick. Can't do things at 100%.

mumbles..

2005-02-14T00:53:00.000+08:00

Reached back to an Empty Hostel Room. My roommate has vaccated his place. He's going overseas to study. Its alittle empty here, but I guess i'll be alright staying in a single "deulux" room. (Its supposedly to be shared, since no roommate, so its mine.. yay..)

Lonliness. Is that what I feel? Naa. I sort of enjoy the solitude every once in a while.

Relationships are probably the best thing God has ever created. Nonetheless, due to our fallen nature, it probably causes the most pain as well.

Like what the guy who wrote romeo and juliet said.. "The Course of True Love Never Did run smooth."

Ouch.

Believe you me, I have my fair shares of "romantic" escapades. None which fair well. (ok ok, its just me alright?..) Still, I know that the best is yet to be? After all God is a Good God amen?

Currently, one of my good friends in a tight spot regarding relationship matters. BGR again.
Yups. Still it offers one much insight as too how much it is to love and be loved back, yet hurt at the same time. Its an Irony. Sort of like some heart broken love song out of the radio. Still, It exists and it is so very real.

I thank God that I'm single still. (not that I do not seek to be attached.) Well, at least, currently I'm spared the headaches which will come together with a relationship. (Tomorrow Vday, save $$, no dates.. wah haha.)

Sleepy, I've much to say here regarding matters of the heart, still.. I NEED SLEEP.. i'll continue again. Ciaos all Nitez

Post CNY...

2005-02-12T01:14:00.000+08:00

Chinese New year has just ended... ok ok, maybe not. After all, there are 15 days to chinese new year right? So whats the next event? Valentine's? Man, i can feel the spark of nervous energy in the air. Was in school today, and my friends are all talking about it. Some were like keep telling me, "no time, no time..old le, still no dates.. Die die die..." I was like -_-" ... Sorry for the emoticon, somethings just cannot be said with just words alone. Me? Ai zhai loh.. (resigned to fate probably... mua hahaha)

Come to think of it, I hate chinese new year sometimes. I was like getting pestered by my relatives all around with questions like :"Wheres your girlfriend?"(me: wat girlfriend? don't have lar..) followed by "How come like that??"(me: wat you mean how come? no have means no have lar..) And "So where's your current girlfriend?" (me:!??!? No girlfriend where got current girlfriend).

Countless questions followed suit. Hence, my Chinese New year was mostly spent in a room tucked away in the remote corner of my grandma's place, with my cousins. (Thank God for cousins sometimes.. ) Don't even ask about hows my Ang Pow Collections... same reasons for the past few years.. "aiyah, poor economical conditions lar, so you know lar..." Sometimes, i think its a ploy, a huge top secret conspiracy to get me married off so that they can spend less ang pow on me. (me being the eldest, more $, you know lar..)

After much pacifying and "promises" of "yah auntie so and so, next year i show you my girlfriend ok..." The interrogations ended.

My Solution for in the event of no Girlfriend? (Highly probable)

HIDE IN THE ROOM.

Even my buddy Vernon didn't spare me. Yeah yeah, I know, I'm already 25, so I'm at that STAGE where i should get attached. yes yes, i know, yes yes, next year have to show you, yes yes,.. so that you can suan me... blah blah blah.. (one ear in, one ear out..)

Fine,.. What are they thinking? Girlfriend Grow on Trees? I can just pluck one off the tree?
Maybe the drop from the sky just like that. Maybe after praying to God a few billion times, He would just tell me. God Voice, the Deep Echo kind: "HERE SHE IS, THIS WOMAN (poor thing) SHALL BE THY WIFE!!" Maybe while He's saying it, there will be neon lights pointing the way and a BRIGHT spot light pointing out who she is.

I wish...

Unfortunately, Women, happen to be the most picky species in the known world,... the other being me.

Yes, I have Terms and Conditions too.. So if you think, you Fit in, take a queue number and proceed to the back of the line and await your turn... the current queue number starts at.. 1

Yes, one,.. Numero Uno. Why?.. Simply put, there's no one at the queue lar.

Maybe I should start marketing myself. Then again, I probably have to pay through my nose, and I still won't get anything done.

Well.. Heck,. Bo Chup..

Oh, I got Maths Quiz day after valentines, so i'll be spending it with Mr Differntial Vector Calculus. And after that,.. Its back to my FYP again. ..

Whoever said living a single's life was easy? ..hahaha

Cheers. Happy New Year and.. have a merry and romantic Valentine's Day.

属于你

2005-02-12T01:10:00.000+08:00

The below is a love song, written by sis xuemin, Irene's CGL sometime ago..
Its such a beautiful song for God. Below are the lyrics. So meaningful..

很久很久我觉得空虚，
世界对我没有意义。
无法找到，一丝美丽，
心空一点力量散去。

很多方法都式过了，
心里还是觉得难过。
但有一天，我找到你，
你把你的爱放在我心。

好想好想拥有你，
我的一切一切，都是你。
什么都能矢去，但却不能失去你。
因为你是我世界。

拥有你的爱你的力量，
世界变得更完，全更完美。
爱你一百遍，你爱我一万遍。
我就这样，属于你。

2005-02-04T17:25:00.000+08:00

Your Element Is Water

http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/water.jpg">> %20 A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That' table>

What's" Your Element?

2005-02-04T13:14:00.000+08:00

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+

You're a pro at going with the flowYou love to kick back and take in everything life has to offerA total joy to be around, people crave your stability.
While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's doneYou're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

My Sweet Valentine.

2005-02-04T01:34:00.000+08:00

V day approaches. Yes yes I know. On the Febuary 14, there'll probably be thousands and thousands of couples parading the streets of singapore, all over the world, professing their ardent love to one another.

Couples all over the world will suddenly seem to emerge out of nowhere to suddenly parade the streets. Are the trying to tell the singles something? Maybe they are trying to say : "Hey, look, you loser, i'm attached while you aren't" Kudos to that.

Maybe they're right. Maybe they're not right. Anyway, its a rather daunting sight. Whatever will people think? I'm all alone while they are all attached. Naa, in my opinion, the couples will probably be too busy staring into the eyes of one another.

Singles, its a good idea to stay home and avoid the crowd.

Hmm, maybe you'll might ask, hey (Bro) Eugene, aren't you going out with someone special? Naa, I'm not. As it is, i don't even have any special activities lined up. Its going to be a stale valentines. Maybe Max might Jio me out.. (will you?) So if you guys happen to see me on the streets with Max, don't get the wrong idea.

1st I'm not GAY
2nd I'm not GAY
3rd I'm not GAY

Besides, Max might not neccessary wanna go out with me. Maybe I might go out with a few good buddies. So if you couples see me on the streets, dun suan me ok? (yeah yeah, me still single lar)

Sometimes, i wonder when I'm old, fat and ugly, will I be alone.. Hmm. I wonder if anyone would even think I'm good enough for them. Maybe someday, I'll be left alone sitting at home. Watching TV, remising on times ages past and feeling nostalgic about it. (hey, sounds like whatever I'm doing now.)

Maybe. I have no Idea. Well, its all in God's hands isn't it? I suppose its true that someday we all want someone to love and be loved in return. Maybe thats the true reason for Valentine's day.

An opportunity for people to feel loved and love in return.

Sometimes I wonder if I were to love someone someday, will the person love me back the same amount.
Then again, if I were to think like that, it won't be love won't it? True Love always gives and never make demands on the other party ya? Maybe thats why God's Love is the only 100%
true love.

Well, like this old hymn goes:

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't worry over the sunshine,
For it's clouds may turn to grey.
I don't worry over the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today, I'll walk beside Him
For He knows what is Ahead.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.

Every Step is getting brighter,
As the Golden Stairs I climb,
Every Burden's getting lighter,
Every Clould is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye.
At the ending of the Rainbow,
where the mountain touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.

Have a great day all. Goodnight.

The Story Teller..

2005-02-03T01:45:00.000+08:00

For the record, Max lucardo is pronounced as Lu Kay Doh, and not Lu Kah Doh.

People have been mispronouncing that name for a long time. I guess it time someone puts it right.

I've always liked typing stories. Some are fiction, others are stories of my past. Still others are parables and some, I came up myself. In my stories, i always like to blend alittle of myself in. Maybe to covey alitte of my thoughts. Alittle of my feelings and dreams. Maybe how I feel regarding certain situations.

In my blog, this is a world of my own. A place whereby I can create dreams and draw out imagination. A place whereby I can freely express myself. A blog is a pretty good place to destress I would say.

Even crap can sound good if expressed well.

Its a talent that I have, to put down matters expressed freely in a way that everybody comprehends.

Humor.

Thats another area that I excel in. I'm a serious person. (hahahaha..) Serious.. Someone once said that people who joke all the time are serious people. They use jokes and humor to cover up that side of them. (i said it.. ) But its true. I'm a serious person.

Like I have said, watch my actions, not my words.

Maybe someday I'll write books dedicated to God, for His people. "Worship for the teenage worship leader" by Eugene Ang. "The Power of Praise and WorshiP" By Eugene Ang. "Stories to warm the heart" By Eugene Ang. Well, these are probably what I can come up with.

More interesting still, I think I'll rather write the following.. Its probably being written by Angels now even as they observe my daily life. "The tale of Eugene, An up and down ride" By JC and Angels. "The Mundane life of EA" By JC and Angels. "The Romantic Idiot EA" By JC and Angels.

I guess the one I am most intrested in for the moment should be "A Geeks Life, Surviving NTU Engineering and FYP as Seen through EA" By JC and Angels, "The Spiritual Life of Eugene" By JC and Angels and of course "Eugene meets Girl: a romantic comedy" By JC and Angels.

Wow, my life being cataloged into books. I would certainly like to read and tell some of them myself. Won't you be interested as well?

Maybe, i'll just start, one story at a time.

Then again, it will be another story, another time.

Goodnight all.

2005-02-03T01:33:00.000+08:00

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy.
While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice.
Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

2005-02-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

Your EQ is

133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!

51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.

71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.

91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.

111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.

150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

The Slow Dancer

2005-02-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

Will the real Eugene Please stand up?

2005-01-31T21:43:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I wonder what kind of impression do i give people? Hmm.. some people mentioned that i am crappy, others say that i'm lame. Some seems to think that I'm wen zhong. Hmm.

Will the real me please stand up?

Haha..

I'm am really a very fun loving person i guess. I like my friends to be happy, hence I normally am quite lame and crappy.

There is a twist to it however.

I don't often show the serious side of me.

The closer you are to me, the more you get to see this side of me.

Only if you are close to me.

Of course, when its time to be serious, its time to be serious. I tend to take the things i do seriously. Otherwise than that, you will see the more sunny side of me.

Why? Hmm, I haven't really quite figured that out myself. I do think alot. When I say alot, I mean ALOT. I brood over matters. I think, i figure out details. The Happy go lucky part, is more or less a facade. I don't share problems with just anyone. (actually, i don't really have much to complain about. Mostly God meets my needs.) You know you are someone important to me when i come to you with my frustrations, concerns and worries.

Only my close friends see this side of me.

Have you all ever seen me angry? Nope, i seldom get angry, but when i do. Goodluck to you.
Caution: Don't piss me off. Of course, you might want to test water. Put it this way, you know you mean alot to me, IF I'm extremely pissed off at you, yet i brush it off. You will know that you have lost a friend in me, when you pissed me off, and well i stop joking around you etc after that.

Moral of the story: Don't try pissing me off.

Still i do believe I have quite a high tolerance of self control. He who rules over his spirit better than he who take control over a city yah?

I have lots of friends, each one i treasure alot, regardless a normal friend, a close friend, or well friends in my inner circle.

I choose them too. Its only wise. Pastor often says that If you wanna soar like an eagle, stop hanging around turkeys.

Ok, enough rants here.

Blog again

Walking down memory lane...

2005-01-30T01:43:00.000+08:00

Looking at the old dusty shoe box, i can barely remember when was the last time i look through its contents. When was it that i started collecting the letters and mails that people have sent me? I can't remember... I took it off the old shelf, dusted it a little, placed it on my bedroom floor and sifted though its contents...

Memories started coming back into my mind. Every letter carried with it a past. A memory of times ages past. Some were letters written 8 years? 10 years ago? Its hard to imagine how long ago some of those letters are.

Looking at a stack of normal paper.. I remembered those days when me and a good buddy used to write rubbish to one another. I wonder how is he now? Last i heard, he had a brazilian girlfriend. Last i heard, he is happily engaged. I remembered those times in the classroom when we would right "philosophical" nonsence to one another. "Man frames and is framed" Was something he wrote. "Live for freedom, die for freedom" is one that i wrote. Such naviety of a young mind.

I realised that in secondary school, the letters that were given to me were mostly from guys. Come to think of it, the only close female friend I had then was my best friend's cousin. She's a nice girl, i swear i had a crush on her for a while too. well, time passes and boys grow up to become men. Come to think of it, its been years since i last catch up with her. Lack of time, intrest and distance cause the friendship to be distanced.

She's still fine i guess, remembered i used to ask her if she would like to come to church too. Well, she didn't want to, so yups. Anyway, heard she's attached and.. hope she is well wherever she is right now. (naa, she was my crush for a week or so i guess, den another one of my close friends liked her after that..he didn't managed to win her though. I never did try to chase her too. I suppose though i had a crush on her, its probably because she was the only close female friend i had then..)

JC days, those where the days i recieved the most letters. Come to think of it, I've lots of letters written to me by sisters. -_-" One of them, i've gotten to know when i was in british council. After O levels, she went over to USA to further her studies. She actually wrote to me from over there.. and she actually remembered my birthday too? Wow.. haha, naa, me being the "bad" guy, never did reply any of her letters.

Don't ask me why? I guess she was just a normal friend to me? Besides recalling that she's an extremely rich girl and that she's an indonesian chinese, I can't really recall much else about her.

Rich people. There is this other rich girl that i got to know through IRC. She has a driver to bring her around, and her friends are those super rich kind. She asked me out for a few "dates" before. Think her name was Jaquiline or something.. from SCGS. Those days where people were still using normal Plantium 133/166, she has a Server instead. Not to mention a computer in every room. I recalled her being a rather down to earth person. If not for the fact that the clothes and shoes that she wears are worth thousands. Rich? naa.. Filthy rich is the term to describe her. (Seriously though, she is a very nice person. Nope never did treat her more than just a normal friend. I'm not after $$ you know?)

Hmm, letters from my choir mates.. the sisters. Haha, they really love writing. Some are really notes written to "encourage" me (as if i really needed the encouragement) Maybe they are just trying to be friendly. I really have no idea. I've always been popular with the oppersite sex. No idea why. I didn't ask for it. However I was brought up by my mum, with her always teaching me to be nice to sisters, to treat them differently from guys. I guess that mentality stayed on with me.

I have always envisioned to treat sisters well. To give way to them etc. Add in a personality that is mostly cheerful, a sharp mind and sweet mouth and there you have, a lady killer. Strange as it may seem. I don't think of myself as one. Maybe a ladies man, but never a lady killer. Despite my "charming" nature, this i can assure you. Once I have set my mind on the person whom i really like, I'll not set my eyes on another again. Perhaps guys like me are few and far inbetween, I really have no idea. But to date, despite having such a great number of sisters who like me, I remain a guy whom is unable to be with the one whom I am attracted to.

Yes, sad but true. So far, every girl whom I've been attracted to are either 1) attached 2) Reject me, 3) Don't like me, etc. Even my ex whom i've been together for 3 years. To a certain extent, I was the idiot who went into the relationship without barely knowing her. Once bitten, twice shy. I'll never do that again.

People always say that nice guys always finishes last. Maybe so. I don't really care anymore. Why should I stop being a nice guy? I might tease you or crack jokes or be lame or even sound cruel when speaking sometimes. Still, watch the things I do, not the things I say. My actions carry out the things i feel. Not my words. I might sound really bad sometimes. I might say things like, "wah, how come you so weak one, little bit of things also cannot do properly, see la, now you got a bruise and a cut" Yups, its me, being critical, yet on the other hand, you will see me with a plaster in hand, cleaning the cut on your leg, putting the plaster on and rubbing your blueblack.

So, watch my actions, not the words i say. =)

Come to think about it, and reading through the old letters, my ex really did like me alot. I guess people would say that I'm a foolish man, to "dump" such a pretty and nice girl. Haha, true, she is indeed a nice girl, and yes, she is pretty. Still she was never the one for me. Too many difference, too wide a gap in all things spiritual. Given a chance, I would think that I rather remained single than to have gone into that relationship. I can give many reasons why I went into it. (just out from army, so desperate, .. Curious.. urge for a merge.. blah blah blah.) Still, I ended up worse off at the end of it. Nonetheless, it was a good lesson learnt. I'll not go into a relationship again unless i know the person well and unless God gives the green light. (many other criteria of course la.. but well.. other time den blog about it..)

Still, its over and I have already begun moving on.

There is always this doubt in me, that hey, the person that I like will not like me. I guess it has happened to me just so manytimes. I dunno how is God working through all this, perhaps, the day will come when I like this person, and she recipocates my feelings, is she the one then? I really have no idea. We shall have to see what God says then. After all God is the God of love and romance too isn't it? =)

At the moment, I'm in no hurry. I rather remind single rather then have the wrong partner and screw up the life of another sister. (of course, there is the VOW also..) Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to make the best use of my days being single. Trying to learn how to be the person God wants me to be, rather then finding out who The One really is. Of course, if you were to ask me, who will this person be? I guess she should be one of the sisters that i know. Like I have said, the relationship should come forth from a friendship. And well, the end product of the relationship is of course; - marriage

Still, I guess , I know that I know that I know, that this is a stage that I am currently in. I'm 25, will start work by next Jan perhaps? I pray that I can get married before I am 30. I want kids of my own by 30. (Age gap kinda thing, don't want the age gap between me and kids to be too wide)

But enough, I guess in every relationship it takes 2 hands to clap. As much as you are choosing the person, that person is choosing you. Its only fair isn't it? Ok enough rants for the day. I'm tired. Going to bed.

Oh, forgot to mention, I've dumped all those letters. Old photos included. Moving forward would mean to leave behind my past. Its a part which I have dealt with, Harshly if you were to ask me. Well, need to take in new wine with new wine skins ya? Else the new wine will ruin the old wineskins and everything will be destroyed. Hence, thats the reason for doing so.

And oh, I strongly believe in this :"Unless you are prepared to catch her, don't every let her fall" What does it mean? To me, it means this, If i do like a person, and the person were to like me in return, i will definately catch her when she falls for me. Else, I will make sure that the person will not fall for me. Its my responsiblity as a brother.

Well, goodnight and sweet dreams all.

Try Try!!

2005-01-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

Want a 25MB hotmail account instead of a 2MB one? Try the following steps below.. i did it and got a 25MB account. yay.. =)

Login ur hotmail account and go to options.
Go to "Personal"
Click "My Profile"
Change Country to "United States"
Wait for browser to load United States settings.
Change the state to any American States. For example "Florida" and zip code 33332"
Click "update"
Click "Continue"
Go to "Language" and make sure its "English"
Paste this link in the same browser.
http://by17fd.bay17.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/Accountclose
Wait until the Screen says you're Hotmail is Closed and ready to be deleted.
Click "Close Account".
Go back to login page and re-login to ur hotmail account..!!

Your account size will now increase to 25 MB, which a month later becomes 250 mb.

The Wedding

2005-01-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

The lift door opened. I stepped into the lift calmly. Looking around me, i am surrounded by my dear brothers. Each of them, a part of my life. Each face, familiar. Each one, a part of their past intertwined with mine. As the lift began its journey up towards its destination. I turned my thoughts towards myself.

Despite looking calm on the outside. My nerves within are all bunched up. Mangled, twisted. Simply put, I'm nervous. Outside, the morning sun had barely begun to rise. A new dawn, a new begining. A new day is about to start. The air is still cold from the previous night's drizzle. The roads around the neighbourhood are just begining to dry up. Despite the little sleep and the slight meal that I've taken before starting out, I felt awake and energetic.

Muttering under my breath again and again, "I can do all things to christ that strengthen me.." I repeated one of my favourite verses, Phil 4:13. Counting upon Him to do all things through me, I must go through today well..

As the lift doors opened, the cool morning air rushed into the small enclosed area that we're in. All dressed up to our very best, we carried on towards our destination. Though the morning air carried with it a slight chill, it did little to keep us cool, some of my brothers are already begining to perspire.

As I turned into the corridoor that faced the door, my mind blanked out. Shaking myself out of my daze, we were bombarded with strange questions, some funny, some out-rightly ridiculous. The Negotiations had begun.

One after another, my faithful brothers each took turns to bear the forfeits. All are perpiring now. The morning sun had already risen, the morning mist though, still clung thickly at the ground, as if refusing to go away.

The peals of laughter and whoops of joy, the shoutings and heated discussions all seemed so far away. My thoughts began to wander to the day we first met. How we came to know each. How has the Lord been faithful to us...

"Hey" A shout directed towards me jolted me up from my daydream, "aren't you going to come in?" It took a moment before the words registered in my mind. Pushing aside all thoughts, I stepped on boldly .

The house looks clean, almost foreign despite the number of times I have been here. My eyes scanned all around, taking in the sights around me. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. The laughter and voices and people talking. It all seems so far away.

I went forward, as my hands touched the doorknob and turned it open, the whisles anc cat calls around suddenly increased in volume, spurred on by the cheers, I opened the door.

There she was, seated with a veil over her face, the most beautiful woman in the world. The emotions which have been kept deep within me, all seemed to rush up suddenly. Tears, the just came to my eyes. This is the moment. The day which the Lord my God has been planning for. The day which I have been look forward to. I fell down upon my knees before her.

Through the veil, I could look into her eyes. The windows of her soul. she smiled as i took her hands in mine. For a moment, yet for all eternity it would seem. All time stood still. I knew her thoughts as well as she knew mine. It has always been so and it will continue to be so. No words needed to be exchanged as the mutual understanding between us is understood.

I lifted her up to her feet gently. Still keeping my eyes upon her, never looking away even once, i removed her veil. There in the midst of everyone. I kissed her...

Hymns

2005-01-25T23:48:00.001+08:00

Create in me a clean heart, oh God,
And Renew a right spirit within me.
Create in me a clean heart, oh God,
And Renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away, from thy presence oh Lord,
and take not they Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me, the Joy of my Salvation.
And Renew a right Spirit within me.

Its an Old Hymn that I used to sing. Loved the song, I Love His Presence so much,
I always seek to linger on in it. Sometimes when we sin, be it intentionally or unintentionally,
after that, you realise that hey, the Holy Spirit is grieved, and suddenly, you feel sad..
I wish I can be more perfect sometimes. Nonetheless, Its written that a righteous man may fall seven times, but each time he will pick himself up and carry on.

Maybe you might have fallen today too. Pick yourself up and go back to God. Plead with Him to renew your spirit within, and to create in you a new heart. God is always looking forward to communicating with you.

Come back to God today.

2005-01-25T17:38:00.000+08:00

The Dreaded Machine.. VSEP

2005-01-25T00:46:00.000+08:00

Sludge..yuck.. stinks too!

2005-01-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

Difference in Sludge water and permeate

2005-01-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

The VSEP virbating mechanism

2005-01-22T11:05:00.000+08:00

Membrane that I'm using for the VSEP machine.

A LONG BLOG?? =)

2005-01-22T10:24:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since i've updated this blog. I guess its due to a lack of time that i have these few day. Lets see, Perhaps I'll start by telling about yesterday. I had a great time at the choir BBQ, it was so fun fellowshipping with you guys over at team B, sadly, like what max said, Frankie and Micheal 's presence were sorely missed. People whom I've gotten to know just yesterday include Roy, Shu yi, Xiao rong, Adam, William, Hardy, James , Jeremy and Rina . Of course I can't forget about the dudes whom i've always been working together with, They include : Sis Jocelyn, who was one of the organisers, Justin who organise the games, thanks to him i got a huge bruise on my thigh.. its gone now of couse..haha. Then there's Suzie who is such a great cook!.. Wow, 1st Time in my life, the chicken wings are nicely made.. just the correct amount of heat. Fabian who also helped in many ways, providing chips, cooking, making the fire, providing the trolley and of course giving us a lift back home.. haha.. hey fabian, thanks.. =) . There's Max of course... who can forget him who went around buying drinks for us, else we'll probably die of thirst haha.. There's James too, whose's quiet presence is always appreciated. He's a nice guy.. teacher too!! wah haha Then there is xiao mei mei Valerie, Hermione and Cui qi, whom i've really gotten to know better during this BBQ.

Me? Oh, i played the part of being the entertainer. Special Thanks to James who brought the Guitar, Super special Thanks to GOD for planned and made everything a huge resounding success, the great weather, the Guitar and the people! Even the Wind was just the correct strength, not too strong, just the correct breeze to cool us with. =) God Is Good!!

Hmm, these past few days I've been busy with my FYP, it basically involves the running of a machine for 8 hours contineously non stop. I took readings every 5 mins. Actually, I sometimes do slack a little, take readings every 10 mins,.. But hey, can tabulate one lar.. and anyway, its really impossible sometimes, especially when i need to go toilet. Hahaha. I'll show my professor my results this coming monday, Hope whatever i do is correct, else i'll get slaughtered -_-" And i don't really have much time left to play around.

I also met up with a few ex srjc choir friends to have a BBQ/Steamboat over at Audrey's place. Its also to catch up with one another as well as to see Winishe. whom is back to singapore for just 2 days to vist friends and poof, she's back to Indonesia. She's gotten her Australia PR. wow.. haha God bless her.

Cell Group's great this week too! Went down to church office to bring a few Korean Dudes over to Cell group. They are rather friendly, if not for the language barrier, they would have been even more intresting. Haha, like what Irene says, sometimes its really all sign language.. haha, hey hey, I used your "an yo ha say yo" (how do you do) and your " kam sia ha mi da" (thank you) in korean. Kim Yeoung Kyu, Lee Dae Kwan and Lee Song Chul, hope to see you again!

And to end with an Omimus note, yeah, I think we are all getting complacent spiritually. We need to buck up, to be prayed up, to boost up our Spiritual Man, to Fast again, to grow stronger. Sometime complacently sets in so subtlely, before you know it, you are slack and well.. you get attack by the enemy. Hence we must always keep up our guard, more so when we are no longer young christians. We are not only responsible for our own lives, but the lives of the people around us.

I'll end here, blog again, ciaos!

something in mind..

2005-01-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

Switching off all the lights in my room. Alone in the darkness. Listening to the single track "Words" playing in the background over and over again. Great song. Suits the meloncholy me too. I like time alone to think. However, I really hate lonliness.

Sometimes, I would wish that I have greater capacity to do more things. I wish that I can help people more.
Still there is a limit what I can do. I wish I can tell people that the world is all pure and nice. That the grass is always green, the sun is always shining. That People are not self-centered and selfish. That People look out for one another. Sadly, there is more to the other side of the world than what I would wish. I pray and wish that people need not go through what I go through, what I see .

The world isn't as pure as what it would seem to be.

I want to protect the innocence of your mind. To keep you from seeing all these things. If only I can, to keep you from seeing all these impurities. The darker side of human nature. I would never want you to be lonely. I love you all so very much. Without you all, life would be a tougher place to go through. Without laughter, fun and joy. WIthout encouragement, lessons and fellowship.

To each of you all, knowing you all, is indeed a privillage and honour. You all taught me so much. You all gave so much. You all gave a part of your lives to me. A portion of your time. A glimpse of heaven. Perhaps someday in heaven I might be able to recount each and every activity that means so much to me.

Life was never meant to be lived through alone.

Hence I try my best, to support the people i know. The people around me. Living life the best way I can, offering a listening ear, being there when needed. Sometimes, we let the activities around us, carry us away. Living our lives semi automated, like machines, like zombies. Can't we all realise that life was never meant to be lived this way?

Stop to smell the roses. To enjoy the senary around us. To have a breather. To understand that, material things shouldn't be our main concern.

Haven't the tsunami awaken your ideas yet?

What If it had struck singapore?

What will you do if your loved ones was swept away?

Cherish your friends, your loved ones today.

Not when its all over.

Live Life Now....

Its never to late to start loving.

1 Cor 13:8
"Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. "

Chinese Choir

2005-01-08T10:38:00.000+08:00

Hmm, my team is serving always so faithfully. Feel like appreciating them. so.. what do you guys think? Was thinking of writing them a card each to encourage them. Make it personal, so.. do you guys feel that its funny to give cards at this time of the year? Or perhaps i can give them during valentines day.. -_-" ahem, i mean friendship day.. =p ... Ahh well, comments... anyone? =)

The Samurai Code?

2005-01-08T09:57:00.000+08:00

I'm Bored, did this for fun... lalala~

Heroic Courage: You are a very brave person who
puts others before yourself, believes in
helping those in need. People would consider
you noble and caring, and someone to always
count on.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

blur..

2005-01-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

Talk about being confused. I'm lost and.. well just lost. I've no idea what to do now. I thought I had everything all sorted out. I guess sometimes things don't go the way we planned. God is still Good regardless.

I need to sort out my thoughts.. man, this really sucks big time. I wish God can be right beside me shouting all the answers into my head. Then again, it will take out all the fun and all the trust we have for Him won't it?

Ai Zhai, evern when all else fails, God's still around.

Cheers

2005

2005-01-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm, the new year is here... for your infomation... I AM NOT ATTACHED. I'M ON VOW AND I WILL MAKE SURE I FINISH MY VOW. -_-"

Regardless, its time that i make some new year resolutions. Hmm, been thinking over a few things, true, i dun deny that the word relationship has crossed my mind before, nonetheless, guess, i'll leave it to God, and well, lets just say i can start planning what i wanna do for the 2nd half of the year. Yup, my vow ends smack in the middle of the year, June 5th actually. so.. guess theres half a year to plan for before 2006. -_-"

Think, i'll need to plan for my fitness as well, been busy with so many things, hardly have time to go to the gym, so i'll plan it such that i'll visit the gym at least once a week for an hour each time. I MUST GET A SILVER FOR IPPT.. thats $200 loh.. haha

Then guitar wise, i must be able to play a few more songs, write a few songs myself too. haha

Then there is my CG, i resolve to grow closer to my members.. to get to know them more.

Study wise i shall pia my FYP well, finish my experiments by late Feb and my report before march is over..

Material wise.. hmm.. no idea,.. i shall have to ponder over this issue.

Spiritual wise.. I wanna pass the BV audition. So i got to pray over the songs I wanna sing and take care of my health such that i am ready for it.

Emotionally wise, i guess i must be stronger, I shall not let my feelings over come what needs to be done.. (my mel side should be controlled further.. haha)

For leisure.. hmm.. I will plan outings with my friends.. yay.. haha

ok ok, this is a short short few things i have decided to do, of course i'll have to write more in my goal setting card. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.. and well, even as Man plan in his heart, its God who direct his steps amen? so yups.. plan plan plan

2004 has been a hectic year for me. Spiritual wise and all, its been really taxing.. but I'm glad I made it. Truely the end of a matter is indeed better than its begining.

Today for CG, i recieved an appreciation gift, i was sooo shocked and suprised. I mean, I didn't know that I was a helper in the CG till today.. haha, all the while i have always helped what I could and, well, I guess that i didn't expect to get anything for the little things I have done. I mean, Liyi and Hui Ming has done so much more.. But, i guess, God is indeed Good ya, haha.. and well, i got to buck up more, to help out more.. Its my Cell, and it belongs to everybody, and i believe that if we all work hard, our CG can achieve great things!!

To infinity and beyond!!

I wanna Grow old with you..

2004-12-31T15:15:00.000+08:00

Here's a song sang by adam sanders, i'm currently

trying to learn how to play it.. someday, i'll

sing it.. to .. well, whoever .. yeah.. =)

here are the lyrics, its a cool song.





I wanna make you smile

Whenever you're sad

Carry you around

When your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is

Grow old with you.





I'll get you medicine

When your tummy aches

Build you a fire

When the furnace breaks

It could be so nice

Growing old with you.





I'll miss you

I'll kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you

Feed you

Even let you hold the remote control





Let me do the dishes

In our kitchen sink

Put you to bed

When you've had too much to drink

I could be the man who

Grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

Sometimes...

2004-12-31T01:26:00.000+08:00

Its been a reallyt wonderful few days. Hmm, i wonder what shall i blog about. Maybe since this blog is about me, i shall blog how i am feeling right now? Or maybe a poem? hmm, never tried before, but guess there is always a first time.

Crossroad are there wherever I go.
A life of rockiness I've chosen to go.
Following my Lord, bearing my cross,
For with Him, i'm never Lost.

Good times and bad times,
happy times and sad times,
through it all, He's with me standing tall.
He cries when i'm hurt, He laughs when I'm happy.
Most of all, He plans in advance and paves a path for me.

wielding my sword, brandish it all,
I bash my way whatever may be-fall.
Cometh what may, troubles what might,
I seek solace under His might.

I sought a partner, i thought a helper,
Abandonment was all I felt, twice the burden what I had.
Carrying part the blame, i shoulder on in shame,
leaving my past, walking to face the day.

Regrets though many, lessons are taught,
nonetheless its forgiveness I sought.
Walking along, I met a stranger bearing her cross,
and wielding her sword.

Though starting on as stranger, friends we became,
helper to be I cannot answer. For unless forgiven
else, the journey alone will I be.
Never to drag a friend down, she deserves better.

But if forgiven am I, Promises though how frail it maybe,
I will protect and defend and watch after thee,
to love, to cherish and to uphold.
To carry on the journey, my helper and me....

...

2004-12-16T01:08:00.000+08:00

Close every door to me,
Hide all the world from me,
Bar all the windows, and shut out the light.

Do what you want with me,
Hate me and laugh at me,
Darken my day times
And torture my night.

If my life weren't important,
I Would ask, would I live or die.
For we have been promised,
A land of my own...

what colour am i? =)

2004-12-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

Yellow
You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!

Housewives and marriges..

2004-12-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

Great weekend. Had a great chat with my long time friend Zook. He's really quite open to christ, still i felt that he wants to know more about christ. Told him quite alot of stuff.. haha, guess, he needs time to settle his thinking. But I believe he will come back this saturday. I'm believing that he will come join us for cell and service.. and well, can start giving him BS too. =)

So much to do, so little time. =)

Had a great time fellowshipping with a few choir members yesterday night too, one of them is a housewive.I'm really very very very impressed by her child like faith. I recalled reading somewhere in a book, that someday, when we get to heaven, we'll see people wearing crowns of different kinds, with different names inscribed upon it. And most of these people are not even great preachers or evangelist. They are housewifes, servants... people whom we normally don't even think of, nor look at on a normal day. Why? Bible says that But many who are first will be last, and the last first. Mat 19:30 Why housewives? Let me tell you her story so that you can understand better.

Once along time ago, she was a christian. But after she met her husband, she backslided and never gone back to church again. One day, her sister in law invited her to come to city harvest. Her sister in law told her this "must come church, very good, feel God's presence can cry one.." She didn't believe, so she challanged God and told Him "If you are real God, let me experience what she felt too..." On that fateful day, she went down to hollywood. If you guys remember, we always had to queue up before going in. Its so crowded, nonetheless, the moment the door opened, she started to cry..

That day, she came back to the Lord, her husband found out too, obviously he wasn't too happy. She tried to reach out to many of her friends, but her friends are all so stubborn and alwasy argue with her, being only a young christian, she wasn't able to answer back their question. Hence, she asked God "how?.. " God showed her the solution, enroll in BIBLE SCHOOL. HE WILL PROVIDE! Following which the Fees for SOT dropped from $4000 to $1500 that year. So she signed up. Of course Her husband, never stopped challanging her faith and kept on asking her questions. She however remained steadfast, kept praying for his salvation and kept on studying in bible school. In SOT she said that she often studied together with her sister in law (another person whom i'm really very impressed with.) Her sister in law has only up to Pri 2 education. Yet she signed up for SOT. And God really shows her how to answer the questions. When ever she does not understand anything, she will go about doing her housework all the while, while asking God about it. And the GREAT THING IS GOd always answers her, such childlike faith the two of them has. For example, she might be cleaning the living room while pondering upon a question, den God will say, "call suzy" and well, the answers will be provided. Meanwhile Sis Suzy's husband (Bro Wang) Started to read the bible to learn more about God's word in order to challange her, and in doing so, he got converted...

Now the whole family is saved. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord!! Wow, really really respect them for their childlike faith.

Lastly, theres a brother called fabian, who's also married, but his wife remains stubborn... Got to keep him in prayer, he's trying very hard to win back his wife's love again. I believe God will work miracles. After all God always does the impossible. =)

Haha.. God's Great!!

Of Blessings,..

2004-12-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

Just realised how inadequate i am. I've thought myself to be quite zhai, well God showed me how wrong I am. My heart is still willing to do whatever what God wants me to do. Nonetheless, I know that i can never do it unless He does it through me. Seriously, this is really a tough period for me. I'm really barely holding on. Am doing fine by His grace alone. As a friend said, "Whoever says that the christian walk is a bed of roses is an idiot." Its not easy, but I rather walk close with God and feel uncomfortable rather than far away from Him and not feel anything.

Been juggling work, studies, cell activites, choir activites, choir practices etc. Haha, really super busy, more so than my normal school days i would say. Still, I'm happy. Sometimes, in my flesh i really do feel like giving up though,.. nothing a good prayer and praise and worship won't help. =)

God's really been giving me a series of lessons really. I guess,i still lots of things in me that God wants to change. haha, thats really great! All things work out for the Good of those who Love Him. I recalled that i was very "broke" on thursday, i left $30. $10 to pay for myEZ link card and the other $20 to survive friday and buy xmas gifts. Then when it was offering time, I didn't want to give. But my spirit wanted too, then I remember that I will not give God an offering that cost me nothing. So i gave a $10. haha.. But God is Gracious. I got a $50 from my dad in return.. hahaha. =)

Man, i'm feeling so sleepy.. want to blog more,.. but, i'll carry on again.. need to go sleep le.. haha nights.

All I want for Christmas is you

2004-12-11T10:34:00.000+08:00

DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS
THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS
UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE
I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN
MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW
MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

I DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS
THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS
UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE
I DON'T NEED TO HANG MY STOCKING
THERE UPON THE FIREPLACE
SANTA CLAUS WON'T MAKE ME HAPPY
WITH A TOY ON CHRISTMAS DAY
I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN
MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW
MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
YOU... BABY

I WON'T ASK FOR MUCH THIS CHRISTMAS
I WON'T EVEN WISH FOR SNOW
I'M JUST GONNA KEEP ON WAITING
UNDERNEATH THE MISTLETOE
I WON'T EVEN MAKE A LIST AND SEND IT
TO THE NORTH POLE FOR SAINT NICK
I WON'T EVEN STAY AWAKE TO
HEAR THOSE MAGIC REINDEER CLICK
'CAUSE I JUST WANT YOU HERE TONIGHT
HOLDING ON TO ME SO TIGHT
WHAT MORE CAN I DO, BABY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU, YOU

ALL THE LIGHTS ARE SHINING SO BRIGHTLY EVERYWHERE
AND THE SOUND OF CHILDREN LAUGHTER FILLS THE AIR
AND EVERYONE IS SINGING
I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS SWINGING
SANTA WON'T YOU BRING ME THE ONE I REALLY NEED
WON'T YOU PLEASE BRING MY BABY TO ME

OH I DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS
THIS IS ALL I'M ASKING FOR
I JUST WANT TO SEE BABY
STANDING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR
OH I JUST WANT HIM FOR MY OWN
MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW
MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE,
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU...

...

2004-12-10T01:23:00.000+08:00

So many things running through my mind now. Max told me to start a dark blog too. I wonder.. maybe ba. Depends. Quite down and disappointed with a few things actually. Nonetheless, perked up during Cell. Somehow God spoke through Sis XZ's words. Not so much as the sermon was a word in season, but rather the words she used. She mentioned that everything will be according to God's perfect timing. So I will continue to believe God in that. His perfect timing.

Cried during Praise and Worship. Music is Great, Song is great,.. singing is great. During Worship, His presence was strong. Then I felt God told me, and as He spoke those words, i just felt sadness wash over me. He said : "Are these people worshipping me ?" I knew then, that I am guilty as well. All too often we praise and worship God. Paying Him Lip service. But our hearts are far from Him. During the day, we are busy with our own little lives, then we come for cell group. Don't you think God deserves more?

Time and time again, we have let Him down. Yes, God understands of course. Still the pain He feels is very real. I felt it, His Sadness, and i cried.

Tired, sick and tired of thinking sometimes. I think I Think too much sometimes. haha. Maybe its just me. Well.

lalala~

2004-12-08T10:06:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Something from my Email again..

2004-12-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

Lady: Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man: I can't tell the reason.. but I really like you..
Lady: You can't even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me?
How can you say you love me?
Man: I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man: Okok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you arethoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements..

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became avegetable. The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is thecontent:

Dearest,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No!Therefore I cannot love you. Because of your care and concern that I likeyou.. Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you. Because ofyour smile, because of your every movements that I love you.. Now can yousmile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you...
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love youanymore. Do love need a reason? No! Therefore, I still love you... And lovedon't need a reason.

In Love with Love?

2004-12-06T22:16:00.000+08:00

The Examination hall never fails to impress me. Looking at the rows and rows of people busy writing away, busy in their thoughts, lost in their little world. Time must speed by while they are lost in that little world of theirs. Millions of ideas, equations and statments running helter-skelter in their minds. For us, time slows to a crawl. I could almost see the individual air molecules as it waltz across my eye. Right... and pigs fly too..

Well, to say that its bored, no, very bored, no, very very very bored.. is an understatment. Truth is, its really boring. Nonetheless, its good and easy money. Who else pays $35 dollars for 3 hrs to employ you to walk around.

yeah.. being an invigilator is great, if not the most boring job in the world.

I really love blogging. Its a joy to write down my thoughts and ideas here in this tiny space of mine. To write anything i want. Sometimes, the things i say carries deeper meanings. You got to read carefully. Thats why its fun. I think unless you are sharp enough to catch it, else you probably won't appreciate it.

Someone once asked me. What is the most beautiful thing you can ever think up of. Is it a scenery of mountains in the background, surround with lush green forests. A lake reflecting the image of the mountain? Is it a girl, so beautiful, whose looks are forever immortalised in an image on a photograph? A Car which sleek curves takes your very breath away or the sky so blue over a endless horizon full of sunflowers.

After pondering upon the question. I have decided that the beautiful thing in the world is a love grown old. A love that stood the test of time. A love that is eternal, yet is seemingly restricted by the frail mortal body of ours.

Picture this, a road surrounded by trees on both sides. Trees with leaves that are yellow and orange. Trees that are shedding leaves due to the autumn season. Picture an old couple walking ahead in the distance, with hair that are white with age. A couple old in years, yet holding hands with one another. A couple whose children has probably all grown up and has left to start their own families, to seek out their own. A couple who have been through thick and thin, through fire and water. Through sickness and health. A couple who like the falling leaves, are in their final stage of their life, their destiny almost complete. Yet the look in their eyes still sparkle when they look upon one another. Theirs hands though ravaged by time, still gentle and tender to one another. Their voices though old, still carries a note of concern to one another.

This in my mind, is the most beautiful thing. To capture a love that has withstood time. A love that is contented with one another. Its not the physical aspects of the image, its the essence behind which the image represents.

Sometimes, i wonder. When its time for me to part with her, for me to return home to the Lord. If I had a choice, who would I choose to go first. I have decided that it would be her. I wouldn't want her to live a life without me. The pain would be too much to bear. I rather suffer the pain rather than she. However Should the Lord calls me first. Then I suppose, its not for ever. I will promise her that I will go and create a reception for her. So that It will be beautiful and wonderful when she comes home. My words to her would be this: "that if you get there before I do, don't give up on me, I'll see you when my chores are through, darling, i dunno how long I'll be. But I'm not going to let you down. Darling wait and see. And between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you. Love, from me."

Its no wonder that couples who love each other deeply don't live long without one another. They can't. The other will die of a broken heart.

Sighs.. meloncholic me.. haha..think i'm in love with love..

Well, signing off.. dreamy me..

Friendly reminder from God..

2004-12-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

Had a great service today. Was feeling down, these few days actually. Something regarding appreciation. Felt sometimes that i am really not apprecitated for the things i do. Guess, God really spoke to me today.

He told me, so what if you are not being appreciated? Does that mean that you'll stop loving your friends? Then, i came to my senses. Self pity nearly did me in there. And I knew, i can't deny myself. I guess, even if i am being made used of, i'll still love them. I'll still care for them. Afterall, I can't love them any lesser.

Yesterday however, i was tired of it all though, i felt like just saying, that its enough, here am I,.. i really cannot give out anymore le. I'm tired, just so tired. Today, was about the same.. all the way till sermon. God though pastor spoke about Appreciation, it was then i relized that deep within, even if i were to feel unappreciated or hurt or what so ever, I must carry on, I must persevere on. Its just me. I can't be any lesser. Thank you God, for reminding me what i must do.

Cheers. =)

Busy day

2004-12-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

Been sometime since i did any real update. Been rather busy. Went around orchard to shop alittle today. ok ok.. i'll start from the top. Morning, woke up and went down to RELC for a briefing. Yups. i'm to be working as an Invigilator for the up coming ACCA exams starting monday. It will end on 15 Dec. It will be from 2pm to 6 pm every day except saturday and sunday. $35 everyday. =) Easy money.

Briefing ended about 12pm, went down to Orchard to shop for some presents. Managed to buy something. Then Ryan called and said that i can have the test this evening, so ok, luckily i brought my BS books. so off i went to the library to read through the 2 BS books. Of course i had a short and fast lunch at taka basement. No seats, so sat at some stairs. People watched alittle while eating.

Next After Mugging alittle, Joanna came, so i went shopping with her alittle, trying to buy some shirts. Saw a nice one, but its the last piece. so didn't get it. walked and walked.. 5.30pm, off to meet irene at cityhall mrt then, joanna went off to meet her CGL. Meanwhile Irene convinced me to get that last shirt since i rather liked it anyway. so i bought it in the end. Had my BS quiz, then.. went shopping with Irene again to try to look for a top for her graduation this coming sunday...

A few other events did happened, but too lazy to blog it down. Met up with Joanna then, had dinner over at pasir ris, saw the sisters home, den caught the last bus back home.

Siong.. ok..Afew things on my mind, well, maybe i'll blog them down when i am free...

Sleepy Day

2004-12-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

Yawns, just woke up not too long ago. Sleepy wednesday. Think I'll need to do my Report for my FYP.. sighs,.. sianz. Man, this got to be the shortest post from me ever. =p Well.. think i'll blog later. Nothing much to write now.. yawns.. =)

Ciaos

2004-11-30T02:12:00.000+08:00

Brighter Version

2004-11-30T02:11:00.000+08:00

The Lovely bride and the Macho Men!

2004-11-30T02:10:00.000+08:00

The Wedding Couple and my CG, YAY!!

2004-11-30T02:08:00.000+08:00

Joyce, what u pointing at?? =)